Today old letters will be read.
Today photographs will remind me of good times.
Today I will remind myself that I was lucky she was my 'Mam'.
Today happy memories will be shared with my children.
Today the jokes, the laughs and the endless cups of tea will be fondly remembered.
Today I will hum her favourtie songs
Today is a reminder that eight years is a drop in the ocean.
Today a candle will be lit in rememberance.
Today sadness will be pushed aside.
Today I will remember her voice, her laugh and her smile.
Today is for smiling............................................and maybe a few little tears.
Tuesday 8 November 2011
Tuesday 27 September 2011
Divide and conquer..................................not!
You know the film 'Clash of the Titans' well that is actually based on what happens in my household.
Granted chez moi it is a low-budget version of it but basically the plot of family members not getting on and causing mayhem in the household is quite present.
So like a film this is how it takes place;
1st Child enters a room looking for a sibling to bother (okay maybe not exactly looking for someone to bother but definately looking for 'something' to do)
2nd Child does not want to be bothered and therefore gets into 'defense' mode (this defense mode can take on many forms, shouting, hitting, throwing stuff at sibling, there even has been a case of biting!)
3rd Child either decides to be the peacemaker or joins in with the fight (either way he or she will also end up with injuries!)
Then follows lots of special effects - mostly shouting, stamping feet, slamming doors (well this is a low-budget version) and then someone gets hurt and cries and then I hear that sweet sound of
"MAMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA"
been screamed around the house in different voices until someone finds me
(I really need to find better hiding places)
This does not happen on a daily basis, only on days ending in 'y'!
I check for injuries, any cuts and bruises, any loose teeth, the usual inspection then rant like a fish-wife for five minutes, once I get my breath back I then become like Zeus I pass a sentence - everyone is 'banished' to their rooms and are 'forbidden' to speak each other.
Then calm reigns in the household and along come the closing credits with the words
THE END............................................or is it.
The first 30 minutes are calm and then I will hear a bedroom door creak open really quietly and Zeus-like I bellow up the stairs
"where are you going?"
a squeaky voice answers
"getting a drink/going to the toilet/finding my limb that fell off during the fight"
Then there is the whispering and patter of feet so been god-like and nosey I go to check it out and that is when I find the three of them all together in one room playing a game together like little angels and thats when I would like to turn into Medusa and turn the little blighters into stone!
Way back when I had more than 5 brain cells (B.C. before children) the idea of having lots of children seemed such a good idea but the thing we forget is that once we get past two kids you are actually outnumbering the adults in your household unless of course your other half is a big child and ah well can't help you there.
Of course you can attempt "divide and conquer" but this only works when you are using the following items - sweets, ice-cream, television and if all else fails - money!(technically can be seen as protection money).
There can be alternative endings (do not have to wait for the DVD box set to see this) they grow out of it, get bored by it or find quieter ways of annoying each other.
Ah bliss, the joys of parenthood.
Granted chez moi it is a low-budget version of it but basically the plot of family members not getting on and causing mayhem in the household is quite present.
So like a film this is how it takes place;
1st Child enters a room looking for a sibling to bother (okay maybe not exactly looking for someone to bother but definately looking for 'something' to do)
2nd Child does not want to be bothered and therefore gets into 'defense' mode (this defense mode can take on many forms, shouting, hitting, throwing stuff at sibling, there even has been a case of biting!)
3rd Child either decides to be the peacemaker or joins in with the fight (either way he or she will also end up with injuries!)
Then follows lots of special effects - mostly shouting, stamping feet, slamming doors (well this is a low-budget version) and then someone gets hurt and cries and then I hear that sweet sound of
"MAMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA"
been screamed around the house in different voices until someone finds me
(I really need to find better hiding places)
This does not happen on a daily basis, only on days ending in 'y'!
I check for injuries, any cuts and bruises, any loose teeth, the usual inspection then rant like a fish-wife for five minutes, once I get my breath back I then become like Zeus I pass a sentence - everyone is 'banished' to their rooms and are 'forbidden' to speak each other.
Then calm reigns in the household and along come the closing credits with the words
THE END............................................or is it.
The first 30 minutes are calm and then I will hear a bedroom door creak open really quietly and Zeus-like I bellow up the stairs
"where are you going?"
a squeaky voice answers
"getting a drink/going to the toilet/finding my limb that fell off during the fight"
Then there is the whispering and patter of feet so been god-like and nosey I go to check it out and that is when I find the three of them all together in one room playing a game together like little angels and thats when I would like to turn into Medusa and turn the little blighters into stone!
Way back when I had more than 5 brain cells (B.C. before children) the idea of having lots of children seemed such a good idea but the thing we forget is that once we get past two kids you are actually outnumbering the adults in your household unless of course your other half is a big child and ah well can't help you there.
Of course you can attempt "divide and conquer" but this only works when you are using the following items - sweets, ice-cream, television and if all else fails - money!(technically can be seen as protection money).
There can be alternative endings (do not have to wait for the DVD box set to see this) they grow out of it, get bored by it or find quieter ways of annoying each other.
Ah bliss, the joys of parenthood.
Thursday 8 September 2011
The "W" word
Two of the most scariest words in the world begin with "w".
Here they are
"weight" and even worse than that "waistline"
(hope nobody fainted)
I have been a big boned girl for a long time (ok I know we all have the same sized bones but this is my version) and have never ever been the slim willowly type woman more of an oak tree with large branches kinda of woman. Once I was complimented on my fine 'child-bearing' hips - yes the last of the great romantics lives in Ireland, he didn't seem to understand why this compliment did not endear me to him!! I occasionally fretted about it as you do when you are young but at the time I was using the memory of a goldfish and used the age old mantra
"ah feck it I'll do something about it tomorrow" and then "what am I suppose to do tomorrow?" see goldfish brain!
Of course now the funny thing is that when I see photographs of my younger self I think "why did you get your knickers in a twist sure you were fine" compared to now I was a bloomin top model!
Now I do have a waistline, it is round here somewhere (ha ha ha) and yes I would like to loose weight just as much as the next person unless that person is _____________ (fill in the gap with the name of anyone famous you think are too thin!) And granted my eating plan so far has been hit and miss, okay thinking that because I did not eat 10 chocolate biscuits my body should drop a kilo in weight in appreciation may not be the best plan but hey a girl has to try.
I have thought of alternative plans - wiring my jaw shut (ah no that was my husband's idea!)
not buying any food (funnily enough my children do not like this plan) and dare I even say it - doing sport (you see how desperate I became!!)
I have often read inspiring stories of woman who seemingly overnight lost 2 dress sizes, the only time I did that is when I accidently donated the wrong clothes bag to charity!! Or you know those 'chick-lit' books where the woman is so unhappy with her life and suddenly she turns it all around and the 'weight' just drops off her, well the only time weight actually dropped off me was when I gave birth or accidently dropped my slice of carrot cake!!
However I always took time to inspire others with a "w" issue, some years back I met a new Mum who had a little baby and she was complaining about how she hadn't yet lost any of the 'baby' weight she gained during pregnancy, I told her that it was the same for me,
Me - How old is your baby?
Her - Nearly 3 hours old (only kidding!) 6 months old so it is time I lost the weight and your child?
Me - Ah lets see, nearly 10 years old!
And she was fine once she stopped sobbing hysterically.
So now I have apparently hit the age of reason (ouch did not see that coming) and should be more grown up about this 'weighty' issue (har har har) and more serious (well it is a heavy subject!) and do all that serious malarky - eating well and doing sport (oh nearly had a dizzy spell writing that!) and then apparently that is when you loose weight (yep sounds dodgey doesn't it?) or else I could just hire David Copperfield to 'magic' it away!!Hey it could be the new 'diet', forget Atkins, South Beach etc no do a Copperfield and "magic" it away or better still "saw" it away!
No?
Okay it was worth a shot, I will make an effort, yep I'll only eat 8 low fat chocolate biscuits now (see the effort I am making!! amazing huh?) and see if my body will at least drop 100 grammes in appreciation of my will power.
See I am not afraid of the "w" words.................................okay just a little!!
Here they are
"weight" and even worse than that "waistline"
(hope nobody fainted)
I have been a big boned girl for a long time (ok I know we all have the same sized bones but this is my version) and have never ever been the slim willowly type woman more of an oak tree with large branches kinda of woman. Once I was complimented on my fine 'child-bearing' hips - yes the last of the great romantics lives in Ireland, he didn't seem to understand why this compliment did not endear me to him!! I occasionally fretted about it as you do when you are young but at the time I was using the memory of a goldfish and used the age old mantra
"ah feck it I'll do something about it tomorrow" and then "what am I suppose to do tomorrow?" see goldfish brain!
Of course now the funny thing is that when I see photographs of my younger self I think "why did you get your knickers in a twist sure you were fine" compared to now I was a bloomin top model!
Now I do have a waistline, it is round here somewhere (ha ha ha) and yes I would like to loose weight just as much as the next person unless that person is _____________ (fill in the gap with the name of anyone famous you think are too thin!) And granted my eating plan so far has been hit and miss, okay thinking that because I did not eat 10 chocolate biscuits my body should drop a kilo in weight in appreciation may not be the best plan but hey a girl has to try.
I have thought of alternative plans - wiring my jaw shut (ah no that was my husband's idea!)
not buying any food (funnily enough my children do not like this plan) and dare I even say it - doing sport (you see how desperate I became!!)
I have often read inspiring stories of woman who seemingly overnight lost 2 dress sizes, the only time I did that is when I accidently donated the wrong clothes bag to charity!! Or you know those 'chick-lit' books where the woman is so unhappy with her life and suddenly she turns it all around and the 'weight' just drops off her, well the only time weight actually dropped off me was when I gave birth or accidently dropped my slice of carrot cake!!
However I always took time to inspire others with a "w" issue, some years back I met a new Mum who had a little baby and she was complaining about how she hadn't yet lost any of the 'baby' weight she gained during pregnancy, I told her that it was the same for me,
Me - How old is your baby?
Her - Nearly 3 hours old (only kidding!) 6 months old so it is time I lost the weight and your child?
Me - Ah lets see, nearly 10 years old!
And she was fine once she stopped sobbing hysterically.
So now I have apparently hit the age of reason (ouch did not see that coming) and should be more grown up about this 'weighty' issue (har har har) and more serious (well it is a heavy subject!) and do all that serious malarky - eating well and doing sport (oh nearly had a dizzy spell writing that!) and then apparently that is when you loose weight (yep sounds dodgey doesn't it?) or else I could just hire David Copperfield to 'magic' it away!!Hey it could be the new 'diet', forget Atkins, South Beach etc no do a Copperfield and "magic" it away or better still "saw" it away!
No?
Okay it was worth a shot, I will make an effort, yep I'll only eat 8 low fat chocolate biscuits now (see the effort I am making!! amazing huh?) and see if my body will at least drop 100 grammes in appreciation of my will power.
See I am not afraid of the "w" words.................................okay just a little!!
Saturday 20 August 2011
No 4...........................................................
She is a brown eyed blonde that wants to be entertained on a regualr basis, thinks she is the cutest thing that has walked the planet and drools when she sees her food and is a right bitch, yep thats our dog.
It all started when my husband and eldest son went to the food market and came back with an appointment to see a dog (note to oneself send them to another food market).
Driving over there I remember telling my extremely over-excited sons - we are only going to meet this dog nothing else!
I was feeling smug because I said that we all had to like the dog and my secret weapon was my daugther!! Yep she strongly objected to us even visiting this dog oh yeah Little Miss Vocal kept repeating 'I do not like dogs" and "we have two cats already" and "dogs are smelly" and so for me it was in bag, we would be returning home without the four legged beast!!!
Within five minutes of meeting the dog, my daugther, my secret weapon, turns to me and says
"can we bring her home!!!!"
And presto there we have no 4 at home.
After living in appartment our garden must have looked like a field and therefore explained why she got lost between the back door and the washing line on a regular basis.
Her name is Calice (french for chalice), were we feeling religious when we got her?
Was it a case of 'oh God we have a dog!' no that is the name she came with so that was that. She was two years old when she came to us so in dog years that makes her a teenager, what were we thinking in bringing a four legged hormonal teenager into the house!!
So in the last two years I have had to drag myself out in all weathers to 'walk' her (okay I'll be honest in really bad weather I either run her to the end of my street - a whole 1.75 minute walk), getting a tick off her eyelid - they really do 'pop' when they are pulled out (yuck), bringing her to dog school (well she is a bitch - har har har) no needed a few tips on walking a strong dog and keeping my arms in my sockets, hoovering up all her dog hair - crikey we could make a new dog with all the hair that comes off her and then recently the highlight of my pre-breakfast routine had been to spray a desinfectant up her ass (due to an infection) - yes life cannot get any better after that!!
Ah well she does always seem very pleased to see me which is nice (does that make her gay?) and she does have the softest ears so alright we'll keep her for the time been, besides my husband is delighted to have a blonde who obeys him!!
It all started when my husband and eldest son went to the food market and came back with an appointment to see a dog (note to oneself send them to another food market).
Driving over there I remember telling my extremely over-excited sons - we are only going to meet this dog nothing else!
I was feeling smug because I said that we all had to like the dog and my secret weapon was my daugther!! Yep she strongly objected to us even visiting this dog oh yeah Little Miss Vocal kept repeating 'I do not like dogs" and "we have two cats already" and "dogs are smelly" and so for me it was in bag, we would be returning home without the four legged beast!!!
Within five minutes of meeting the dog, my daugther, my secret weapon, turns to me and says
"can we bring her home!!!!"
And presto there we have no 4 at home.
After living in appartment our garden must have looked like a field and therefore explained why she got lost between the back door and the washing line on a regular basis.
Her name is Calice (french for chalice), were we feeling religious when we got her?
Was it a case of 'oh God we have a dog!' no that is the name she came with so that was that. She was two years old when she came to us so in dog years that makes her a teenager, what were we thinking in bringing a four legged hormonal teenager into the house!!
So in the last two years I have had to drag myself out in all weathers to 'walk' her (okay I'll be honest in really bad weather I either run her to the end of my street - a whole 1.75 minute walk), getting a tick off her eyelid - they really do 'pop' when they are pulled out (yuck), bringing her to dog school (well she is a bitch - har har har) no needed a few tips on walking a strong dog and keeping my arms in my sockets, hoovering up all her dog hair - crikey we could make a new dog with all the hair that comes off her and then recently the highlight of my pre-breakfast routine had been to spray a desinfectant up her ass (due to an infection) - yes life cannot get any better after that!!
Ah well she does always seem very pleased to see me which is nice (does that make her gay?) and she does have the softest ears so alright we'll keep her for the time been, besides my husband is delighted to have a blonde who obeys him!!
Sunday 19 June 2011
Oh extremely important things to tell my daughter................................
Ah remember those wonderful years of been a teenager?
No.....neither do I. As I see my daugther gradually coming up to those years I am torn in either sending her to Easter Island for the duration of adolescence or filling up the fridge with lots of wine, yep the wine won.
I think one of the worse things of those years is all those body issues that pardon the phrase 'pop up', I mean your hormones are playing havoc with your emotions and then you get an enormous spot right in the middle of your forehead, Mother Nature does have a sick sense of humour. So been of the caring and sharing type of mother I have decided to give a few pointers to my daughter for these 'formative' years.
Boobs
They will arrive in some shape or form so be happy when I bring you to get measured for a bra etc and do not ask for a sparkly bra, too bloomin hard to wash!!
Hair
When the urge of experimenting with hair colour comes upon you, go to shop, buy proper hair colour, use it carefully and enjoy whatever disaster that happens do not use red, green or blue food colour dye because you think it is cool and you are saving money, nope all that money saved will be used on cleaning every item of clothing that came into contact with your hair to get rid of that 'cool' colour!!
Hair Part 2
If you should bemoan the fact that your hair is not as curly as you wish it to be then get it slightly curled to see the effect do not put rollers/curlers in your hair for a whole day and night - trust me you do not want to come out looking like a muppet or an outcast from Annie!!
Body Hair
Oh yeah its gonna happen so be prepared, when you finally think that you are beginning to look like the missing link thanks to your hairy legs then go get them waxed do not shave them using a razor that has seen better days and do not shave on the ankle bone!!!! you will be amazed at the amount of blood that spurts out from this place!!
Body Hair Part 2
Armpits - yep even there Mother Nature had to have a laugh, unfortunately these areas because real sweaty pits and need to be removed on a regular basis do not fool yourself in thinking that body spray/perfume will do the job, no when Mother Nature was inventing the arm pit area she was basing it on several stinky french cheeses!!!!
Facial Hair Part 1
Oh yeah when you are in the missing link mode you may notice that a slug has left a trail across your top lip!! do not try out any new fangled methods to get rid of this 'trail' blast it off with wax but not the candle kind!!
Facial Hair Part 2
So as the slug left the trail on your upper lip your eyebrows may have gotten lonely and either decided to meet up in the middle of your forehead to have a chat or due to cold weather decided to resemble a thorny bush do not use a razor or scissors to did this job, if you know of any landscape gardener in need of business contact them failing that go get them waxed!! The correct wax of course!!
Crimsom Tide
Ah yes the wonderful sign from Mother Nature that you are a woman, yep instead of diamonds been sent once a month, you feel your insides are been put through a blender - ah bliss this womanhood malarky but the must important thing to learn about this time is do not wear white!!
trust me it always, always goes wrong!
I will stop there for the moment as if I tell her anymore she may just pack herself off to Easter Island to avoid adolescence, so naturally I am so looking forward to these years like I look forward to plucking my eyebrows but my plan to keep them blurry should work, a glass of wine anyone??
No.....neither do I. As I see my daugther gradually coming up to those years I am torn in either sending her to Easter Island for the duration of adolescence or filling up the fridge with lots of wine, yep the wine won.
I think one of the worse things of those years is all those body issues that pardon the phrase 'pop up', I mean your hormones are playing havoc with your emotions and then you get an enormous spot right in the middle of your forehead, Mother Nature does have a sick sense of humour. So been of the caring and sharing type of mother I have decided to give a few pointers to my daughter for these 'formative' years.
Boobs
They will arrive in some shape or form so be happy when I bring you to get measured for a bra etc and do not ask for a sparkly bra, too bloomin hard to wash!!
Hair
When the urge of experimenting with hair colour comes upon you, go to shop, buy proper hair colour, use it carefully and enjoy whatever disaster that happens do not use red, green or blue food colour dye because you think it is cool and you are saving money, nope all that money saved will be used on cleaning every item of clothing that came into contact with your hair to get rid of that 'cool' colour!!
Hair Part 2
If you should bemoan the fact that your hair is not as curly as you wish it to be then get it slightly curled to see the effect do not put rollers/curlers in your hair for a whole day and night - trust me you do not want to come out looking like a muppet or an outcast from Annie!!
Body Hair
Oh yeah its gonna happen so be prepared, when you finally think that you are beginning to look like the missing link thanks to your hairy legs then go get them waxed do not shave them using a razor that has seen better days and do not shave on the ankle bone!!!! you will be amazed at the amount of blood that spurts out from this place!!
Body Hair Part 2
Armpits - yep even there Mother Nature had to have a laugh, unfortunately these areas because real sweaty pits and need to be removed on a regular basis do not fool yourself in thinking that body spray/perfume will do the job, no when Mother Nature was inventing the arm pit area she was basing it on several stinky french cheeses!!!!
Facial Hair Part 1
Oh yeah when you are in the missing link mode you may notice that a slug has left a trail across your top lip!! do not try out any new fangled methods to get rid of this 'trail' blast it off with wax but not the candle kind!!
Facial Hair Part 2
So as the slug left the trail on your upper lip your eyebrows may have gotten lonely and either decided to meet up in the middle of your forehead to have a chat or due to cold weather decided to resemble a thorny bush do not use a razor or scissors to did this job, if you know of any landscape gardener in need of business contact them failing that go get them waxed!! The correct wax of course!!
Crimsom Tide
Ah yes the wonderful sign from Mother Nature that you are a woman, yep instead of diamonds been sent once a month, you feel your insides are been put through a blender - ah bliss this womanhood malarky but the must important thing to learn about this time is do not wear white!!
trust me it always, always goes wrong!
I will stop there for the moment as if I tell her anymore she may just pack herself off to Easter Island to avoid adolescence, so naturally I am so looking forward to these years like I look forward to plucking my eyebrows but my plan to keep them blurry should work, a glass of wine anyone??
Thursday 9 June 2011
OMG...................................
In some parts of the world the silly season has begun.
This has nothing to do with hunting wild animals, getting unusual tattoos done or trying to marry George Clooney (okay that might be the season I am trying to start!)
No there are parents out there in the universe getting themselves in a tizz for their child's First Holy Communion - first time little Jimmy or Bridget gets to really participate at Mass by receiving the small disc shaped bread and not the other participation of whining "when can we go home?" "will the priest ever stop talking?" and that just from my husband!!! And then for the collection box certain people would only "pretend" to drop it in the box and then happily show me their ill gotten gains in their sweaty hands at the end of Mass (no this time it was not my husband!)
When I was a little girl yes that far back the girls wore simple white dresses with a small veil yeah bordering on the wedding look and the boys were in their best Sunday suits, family and neighbours would give you some money or a small gift - rosary beads, bible, future birth plan - I'm joking!!
Then if you were lucky you went out for lunch -for me it was sausages and chips with a coke (the drink and not the recreational drug), few photos where there is always someone sulking and off home to look forward to telling everyone the next day how much money you got and comparing gifts - yes we were all shallow children but it wasn't our fault MTV hadn't been invented yet!!
I heard from friends in Ireland that in the last few years it has gone a bit crazy, girls in mini wedding dresses with a veil to match, the boys still wore their Sunday best suits but then had way out haircuts and as for the money well apparently some children could pratically put a downpayment on a house with their communion money, then there were the parties, eight course meals at the most posh hotel followed by a party at home with a bouncy castle, pony rides etc
Actually MTV could have done a show on these events, way more crazy than those Sweet Sixteen shows. To say that it had gone out of control is a bit like saying Lady Gaga is slightly flamboyant!!
Well compared to these people then I am an absolute cheap cow! All I arrange for my lot is a small party in the garden with simple food and drink (simple meaning that there is little or no preparation!) and a few friends and they can bounce the absolute heck out of themselves on the trrampoline!
Ah well no complaints so far!!
My third child is doing his First Communion this week, he is all excited and even more so since cards with money have arrived from Ireland - wow this First Communion gig is finally getting more interesting for him.
This is the child that when he started catechism classes was asked to draw a picture of Jesus and what did he do?
He drew Jesus in his underwear and just to make it extra-special he made sure to give him hairy arms and legs - yep really enjoyed the conversation with his teacher that day!!
So to say that I was a little bit worried about him doing his First Confession with the priest is an understatement, first of all I thought I was going to have an extremely long wait after he lists all of his "sins" (those of you who have met him know what I mean) but thankfully his teacher advised the children to only tell one thing but then there was the dilemma of "which one to tell?"
And also should I have an ambulance on stand-by for the priest?
Thankfully it went beautifully and the priest survived - phew!! As the year went on I thought my little fella seemed to enjoy these classes and actually getting an understanding of all this preparation for his First Holy Communion but then a few weeks ago the children were asked
"what does the priest do with the bread and wine at Mass?"
His answer
"he changes them into cake and coke!"
Opps ah well we are still keeping the money he got and I know he'll enjoy the day!
This has nothing to do with hunting wild animals, getting unusual tattoos done or trying to marry George Clooney (okay that might be the season I am trying to start!)
No there are parents out there in the universe getting themselves in a tizz for their child's First Holy Communion - first time little Jimmy or Bridget gets to really participate at Mass by receiving the small disc shaped bread and not the other participation of whining "when can we go home?" "will the priest ever stop talking?" and that just from my husband!!! And then for the collection box certain people would only "pretend" to drop it in the box and then happily show me their ill gotten gains in their sweaty hands at the end of Mass (no this time it was not my husband!)
When I was a little girl yes that far back the girls wore simple white dresses with a small veil yeah bordering on the wedding look and the boys were in their best Sunday suits, family and neighbours would give you some money or a small gift - rosary beads, bible, future birth plan - I'm joking!!
Then if you were lucky you went out for lunch -for me it was sausages and chips with a coke (the drink and not the recreational drug), few photos where there is always someone sulking and off home to look forward to telling everyone the next day how much money you got and comparing gifts - yes we were all shallow children but it wasn't our fault MTV hadn't been invented yet!!
I heard from friends in Ireland that in the last few years it has gone a bit crazy, girls in mini wedding dresses with a veil to match, the boys still wore their Sunday best suits but then had way out haircuts and as for the money well apparently some children could pratically put a downpayment on a house with their communion money, then there were the parties, eight course meals at the most posh hotel followed by a party at home with a bouncy castle, pony rides etc
Actually MTV could have done a show on these events, way more crazy than those Sweet Sixteen shows. To say that it had gone out of control is a bit like saying Lady Gaga is slightly flamboyant!!
Well compared to these people then I am an absolute cheap cow! All I arrange for my lot is a small party in the garden with simple food and drink (simple meaning that there is little or no preparation!) and a few friends and they can bounce the absolute heck out of themselves on the trrampoline!
Ah well no complaints so far!!
My third child is doing his First Communion this week, he is all excited and even more so since cards with money have arrived from Ireland - wow this First Communion gig is finally getting more interesting for him.
This is the child that when he started catechism classes was asked to draw a picture of Jesus and what did he do?
He drew Jesus in his underwear and just to make it extra-special he made sure to give him hairy arms and legs - yep really enjoyed the conversation with his teacher that day!!
So to say that I was a little bit worried about him doing his First Confession with the priest is an understatement, first of all I thought I was going to have an extremely long wait after he lists all of his "sins" (those of you who have met him know what I mean) but thankfully his teacher advised the children to only tell one thing but then there was the dilemma of "which one to tell?"
And also should I have an ambulance on stand-by for the priest?
Thankfully it went beautifully and the priest survived - phew!! As the year went on I thought my little fella seemed to enjoy these classes and actually getting an understanding of all this preparation for his First Holy Communion but then a few weeks ago the children were asked
"what does the priest do with the bread and wine at Mass?"
His answer
"he changes them into cake and coke!"
Opps ah well we are still keeping the money he got and I know he'll enjoy the day!
Sunday 29 May 2011
Mother's Day
On the radio this week mothers were asked their best Mother's Day memory and it made me think of my best Mother's Day meomories.
The first time I actually celebrated Mother's Day was lovely, granted my son was just two months old and oblivious to it all so hubbie had to do the honours of getting flowers etc but I remember been delighted in finally been able to participate in this day as an actual mother!
My daughter was born on Mother's Day in 2000 so that was a wonderful gift and seeing my son come to the hospital with a bunch of flowers that were bigger than him made me laugh and cry at the same time.
Then there are all those memories of gifts made in school, pasta bracelets, boxes covered in pasta, picture frames with pasta (jeez teachers do I look that hungry!!) and all the little cards and poems given with care and all the excitement they have in trying to hide things they had made for me during those last few days before Mother's Day and what a good actress I became showing my suprise at all these pasta-based gifts (frankly I should have won at least several oscars for these performances!!)
As my children are getting older one part of this day that I enjoy more is
"hey its Mother's Day it is my day off so go see your Father!"
You Mums know what I am talking about..................
"Mama we're hungry/thirsty/bored!!" "go see your Father!"
"Mama we can't find a book/a game/ a limb!" "go see your Father!"
"Mama he/she won't play with me!!" "go see your Father!"
I figure that since the other 364 days are Father's Days I should at least get this one all to me as best as I can.
Today also reminds me of my own mother who is no longer here, I could never remember the Irish Mother's day date so would always send her gift on French Mother's Day, she told me she enjoyed having two Mother's Day a year (might be the way to go - celebrate every country's Mother's Day!)
Anyway I have a very busy day planned for me today and wrote a list -
smile at gifts
say thank you for gifts
do nothing else
As you can see extremely exhausting day planned so to all you mothers make some memories and enjoy your day - might as well it is the only official day off we have!!
The first time I actually celebrated Mother's Day was lovely, granted my son was just two months old and oblivious to it all so hubbie had to do the honours of getting flowers etc but I remember been delighted in finally been able to participate in this day as an actual mother!
My daughter was born on Mother's Day in 2000 so that was a wonderful gift and seeing my son come to the hospital with a bunch of flowers that were bigger than him made me laugh and cry at the same time.
Then there are all those memories of gifts made in school, pasta bracelets, boxes covered in pasta, picture frames with pasta (jeez teachers do I look that hungry!!) and all the little cards and poems given with care and all the excitement they have in trying to hide things they had made for me during those last few days before Mother's Day and what a good actress I became showing my suprise at all these pasta-based gifts (frankly I should have won at least several oscars for these performances!!)
As my children are getting older one part of this day that I enjoy more is
"hey its Mother's Day it is my day off so go see your Father!"
You Mums know what I am talking about..................
"Mama we're hungry/thirsty/bored!!" "go see your Father!"
"Mama we can't find a book/a game/ a limb!" "go see your Father!"
"Mama he/she won't play with me!!" "go see your Father!"
I figure that since the other 364 days are Father's Days I should at least get this one all to me as best as I can.
Today also reminds me of my own mother who is no longer here, I could never remember the Irish Mother's day date so would always send her gift on French Mother's Day, she told me she enjoyed having two Mother's Day a year (might be the way to go - celebrate every country's Mother's Day!)
Anyway I have a very busy day planned for me today and wrote a list -
smile at gifts
say thank you for gifts
do nothing else
As you can see extremely exhausting day planned so to all you mothers make some memories and enjoy your day - might as well it is the only official day off we have!!
Wednesday 27 April 2011
The Truth about me.................
Was sent this by Ms Brightside cos she is nosy!!!But I could have told you that ages ago.
So going have to lie down on the couch to answer these questions, why? well I am a bit lazy!!!
Which living person do I must admire and why?
To be honest I admire many people in my life, certain friends and family members who have had crap thrown at them (not literally) and still get on with it and smile.
When were you happiest?
First pregnancy as I thought it would never ever happen and when it did was over the moon!!
What was your most embarrassing moment?
The list is long starting from the age of six slipping off a fence and accidently showing my underwear to a whole bunch of other kids, the worse thing was the boy I liked was present!!! And then a whole bunch of stuff in my 20's but as I don't have a large rum & coke in front of me you'll not find out!!
Aside from property, what's the most expensive thing you've bought?
A red leather couch (as far as I am concerned the car does not count, goes under the list of essentials!)
What is your most treasured possession?
Got to cheat on this one just a little - certain photographs that capture a certain memory or time
Where would you like to live?
Well I am pretty content with where I am so it will do.
What's your favourite smell?
White musk
Who would play you in the film of your life?
Tony Sheldon - yep a bloke - saw him play Bernadette in Priscilla Queen of the Desert in London and he was brillant, he would make me look good, failing that Catherine Zeta Jones - she needs the money (ha ha ha)
What is your favourite book?
Eva Luna & Stories of Eva Luna by Isabel Allende
What would be your most unappealing habit?
Can be terrible for putting things off until the very last nanosecond!!
What would be your fancy dress costume of choice?
Anne Boleyn with the head.
What would be your earliest memory?
I was three years old and I went to England with my mother on the ferry, remember been in the cabin on the ferry and been in my Aunt Ellen's flat on her balcony.
What is your guiltiest pleasure?
Life is too short to feeling guilty about pleasure so just enjoy and forget the guilt!!
What do you owe your parents?
My sense of humour
To whom would you most like to say sorry and why?
Oh hard one this question, probably would have to say sorry to my mother for not bringing the kids over to see her during her last few months but then again I didn't realise they were her last few months but still am very sorry I didn't.
What or who is the greatest love of your life?
My little family
What does love feel like?
It feels very safe and exciting at the same time
What was the best kiss of your life?
Again where is that rum & coke? The first one with my loved one closely tied in with ???
Which words or phrases do you most overuse?
At the moment it is "bloody"
What is the worst job you've done?
All my jobs had funny moments so I more or less enjoyed them but if I have to pick one it would have to have been picking potatoes - bloody hard work!!
If you could edit your past what would you change?
Generally nothing but a few fashion choices!!
What is the closest you've come to death?
Unfortunately when loved ones have died
What do you consider your greatest achievement?
I can't yet say my children as that is still "work in progress" but still happy to have achieved their existence, I achieved to make a life for myself in a different country which still stuns me and my friendships.
When did you last cry and why?
Reading a book, the main charactor was talking about the grief she felt after her sister's death, reminded me of so many things.
How do you like to relax?
Having a good laugh and chat with my girlfriends sharing tea, wine or cocktails (not that fussy!)
What single thing would improve the quality of your life?
My sensible side would say been in good health while my crazy side would say having Ben Barnes move in next door.
What is the most imprtant lesson life has taught you?
Be happy because nobody will do it for you and laugh whenever you can!!
Gosh time to get off the couch methinks and get a large rum & coke!!
So going have to lie down on the couch to answer these questions, why? well I am a bit lazy!!!
Which living person do I must admire and why?
To be honest I admire many people in my life, certain friends and family members who have had crap thrown at them (not literally) and still get on with it and smile.
When were you happiest?
First pregnancy as I thought it would never ever happen and when it did was over the moon!!
What was your most embarrassing moment?
The list is long starting from the age of six slipping off a fence and accidently showing my underwear to a whole bunch of other kids, the worse thing was the boy I liked was present!!! And then a whole bunch of stuff in my 20's but as I don't have a large rum & coke in front of me you'll not find out!!
Aside from property, what's the most expensive thing you've bought?
A red leather couch (as far as I am concerned the car does not count, goes under the list of essentials!)
What is your most treasured possession?
Got to cheat on this one just a little - certain photographs that capture a certain memory or time
Where would you like to live?
Well I am pretty content with where I am so it will do.
What's your favourite smell?
White musk
Who would play you in the film of your life?
Tony Sheldon - yep a bloke - saw him play Bernadette in Priscilla Queen of the Desert in London and he was brillant, he would make me look good, failing that Catherine Zeta Jones - she needs the money (ha ha ha)
What is your favourite book?
Eva Luna & Stories of Eva Luna by Isabel Allende
What would be your most unappealing habit?
Can be terrible for putting things off until the very last nanosecond!!
What would be your fancy dress costume of choice?
Anne Boleyn with the head.
What would be your earliest memory?
I was three years old and I went to England with my mother on the ferry, remember been in the cabin on the ferry and been in my Aunt Ellen's flat on her balcony.
What is your guiltiest pleasure?
Life is too short to feeling guilty about pleasure so just enjoy and forget the guilt!!
What do you owe your parents?
My sense of humour
To whom would you most like to say sorry and why?
Oh hard one this question, probably would have to say sorry to my mother for not bringing the kids over to see her during her last few months but then again I didn't realise they were her last few months but still am very sorry I didn't.
What or who is the greatest love of your life?
My little family
What does love feel like?
It feels very safe and exciting at the same time
What was the best kiss of your life?
Again where is that rum & coke? The first one with my loved one closely tied in with ???
Which words or phrases do you most overuse?
At the moment it is "bloody"
What is the worst job you've done?
All my jobs had funny moments so I more or less enjoyed them but if I have to pick one it would have to have been picking potatoes - bloody hard work!!
If you could edit your past what would you change?
Generally nothing but a few fashion choices!!
What is the closest you've come to death?
Unfortunately when loved ones have died
What do you consider your greatest achievement?
I can't yet say my children as that is still "work in progress" but still happy to have achieved their existence, I achieved to make a life for myself in a different country which still stuns me and my friendships.
When did you last cry and why?
Reading a book, the main charactor was talking about the grief she felt after her sister's death, reminded me of so many things.
How do you like to relax?
Having a good laugh and chat with my girlfriends sharing tea, wine or cocktails (not that fussy!)
What single thing would improve the quality of your life?
My sensible side would say been in good health while my crazy side would say having Ben Barnes move in next door.
What is the most imprtant lesson life has taught you?
Be happy because nobody will do it for you and laugh whenever you can!!
Gosh time to get off the couch methinks and get a large rum & coke!!
Tuesday 26 April 2011
To read or not to read..................
Murder, Passion, Comedy, Historical, Mystery and Romance - no not the names of my hippie children but different types of books I like to read.
Reading is one of my favourite past times, my family hate to see me with a book in my hand, not because I'll hit them with it (okay it did come in handy those few times) but because I can get so engrossed in a book that I will actually forget certain things like cook dinner - hey there are crackers somewhere or drop them off at their friend's house - they can walk can't they?
As my reading time is precious I have actually stopped reading certain books half way through because well life is too short and I could not give a toss what happened in the story, I have shouted at one or two books (well it did deserve it !) and the worse has been when I have actually guessed the ending half way through the book, that wasn't a case of who-done-it more of you-bloody-idiot-everyone-can-guess-who-did-it!!
There are two words that actually scare me in connection to books - Book Club.
I think the idea of having to read a book in a time limit brings back bad memories of studying for exams - I know it is not that exactly but anyone I know in a Book Club has said one time or another
"Oh God I have to read 350 pages by next Thursday for the next Book Club meeting"
"My book choices never get picked!"
"Did not understand half of that book"
"That book depressed me and everybody in the club loved it!!"
or my all time favourite
"Read the wrong bloody book"
Now before you Book Club members start throwing books at me (providing I haven't read them - carry on!) I know that it can be a great way to be introduced to new authors and styles of books that you normally would not have read but it does seem that there are times you end up with books on your shelf that you don't really want or you don't want people know that you have!
I take the lazy option and let my friends suggest books to me and thanks to them have read some really good ones granted if the book suggestions start going downhill well I will just have to change friends then won't I?
Of course future Book Clubs will have to change there names to iBook Clubs or Kindle Klubs which will bring a whole lot of new situations
"Could not download the book properly"
"Erased the whole book by accident"
"Hurt my finger with all the scrolling"
and of course
"Downloaded the wrong bloody book!"
So to all you bookworms out there happy reading but remember to feed the family from time to time!!
Reading is one of my favourite past times, my family hate to see me with a book in my hand, not because I'll hit them with it (okay it did come in handy those few times) but because I can get so engrossed in a book that I will actually forget certain things like cook dinner - hey there are crackers somewhere or drop them off at their friend's house - they can walk can't they?
As my reading time is precious I have actually stopped reading certain books half way through because well life is too short and I could not give a toss what happened in the story, I have shouted at one or two books (well it did deserve it !) and the worse has been when I have actually guessed the ending half way through the book, that wasn't a case of who-done-it more of you-bloody-idiot-everyone-can-guess-who-did-it!!
There are two words that actually scare me in connection to books - Book Club.
I think the idea of having to read a book in a time limit brings back bad memories of studying for exams - I know it is not that exactly but anyone I know in a Book Club has said one time or another
"Oh God I have to read 350 pages by next Thursday for the next Book Club meeting"
"My book choices never get picked!"
"Did not understand half of that book"
"That book depressed me and everybody in the club loved it!!"
or my all time favourite
"Read the wrong bloody book"
Now before you Book Club members start throwing books at me (providing I haven't read them - carry on!) I know that it can be a great way to be introduced to new authors and styles of books that you normally would not have read but it does seem that there are times you end up with books on your shelf that you don't really want or you don't want people know that you have!
I take the lazy option and let my friends suggest books to me and thanks to them have read some really good ones granted if the book suggestions start going downhill well I will just have to change friends then won't I?
Of course future Book Clubs will have to change there names to iBook Clubs or Kindle Klubs which will bring a whole lot of new situations
"Could not download the book properly"
"Erased the whole book by accident"
"Hurt my finger with all the scrolling"
and of course
"Downloaded the wrong bloody book!"
So to all you bookworms out there happy reading but remember to feed the family from time to time!!
Wednesday 16 March 2011
You did what?.....................
Twenty years of living in France!
And no not in a prison or mental home, although for those of ye who have visited my home you may disagree!
Maybe I should have had my head examined but like all ideas you don't always know the outcome , you know like the idea of "lets make a huge ship and sail from England to America really fast - and lets call it the Titanic!!" or "Shakleton do you fancy visiting the South Pole?" or better still "Tiger Woods asked me to marry me - wow me sooo lucky!!!"
I was totally prepared for my journey to France, yeah I did German!! Well one of my brothers kindly pointed out that since France had been invaded a couple of times by Germany that surely by now they could speak the lingo!
I was going to do the au pair stint, you know stay with a family look after a few kids and enjoy the sights and sounds of Paris. Luckily the family were lovely and I am still friendly with them 20 years later (see their children did survive my tender loving care!) or else they cannot afford to move house and do not know how to avoid me!
It was really strange for me to be somewhere where I really hadn't a clue what people were saying to me and not just because I am a dimwit no they were actually speaking another language - the meanies - simple things like going to the post office, buying a bus ticket or just going to the shop was complicated at first. And the most important thing I did learn was when French people spoke subtitles did not automatically appear in front of them!!!!!
And of course I was sick, yes homesick, I rang home almost every second day, I wrote at least 250 letters a week! I wrote to EVERYBODY I had ever met in my short life.
Dear Barbara, We sat beside each other when we were 10 years old - wow how time flies anyway how are you keeping, me I am living in France, send me your news!!!
P.S. Remember when we used to watch The Little House on the Praerie together??
or
Dear Mrs Morey, I did enjoy been in your german class for those 5 years but now that I am living in France I realised I should have switched over to guess what - oui Français! However since it was Sr Mary Forest (I kid you not that was her name) who did that class and really did not inspire me (unfortunately her voice had a droning quality that even french could not pep up) now ha ha here I am in France, isn't that just so funny. So would you be interested in givng me some hints on how to speak the french lingo as I am stuck here for a year? Auf wiedersein (see haven't lost it)
or
Dear Fr James, I did not always enjoy your sermons every Sunday at Mass but would it be possible for you to send me any old ones you have lying round the house because they may make sense now that I have absolutely no social life I have lots of free time. God Bless
Yes desperate times called for desperate measures.
Then life kicks in, working, making friends, social life, finding a place to live, cooking for yourself (major eye opener especially for the poor people I cooked for), paying bills, laundry etc etc
The plan was to only stay one year - obviousily counting was not my strong point. Ah well nobody is perfect, I mean it could have been worse I could have ended up in Siberia although some French women can give you looks that could turn you to ice - mon dieu what is she wearing?
If someone had told me when I was 21 years old that I would end living in a foreign country I would have laughed myself silly, foreign countries were only good for holidays not actually living there full-time, oh no I was planning to live in an anglophone country like any other normal person!!!
However it turned out that well I am not a normal person (yes some of ye already guessed it) and picked a different route. So far it has been a fairly interesting route but at times I do have to pinch myself (or some 'good' friend volunteers to pinch me) at how it did turn out and even now when I bump into somebody from the past and tell them a bit about myself - short version of course - I still get "you did what? moved to France? what did you do that for?", my answer "it seemed like a good idea at the time......................."
Still does.
And no not in a prison or mental home, although for those of ye who have visited my home you may disagree!
Maybe I should have had my head examined but like all ideas you don't always know the outcome , you know like the idea of "lets make a huge ship and sail from England to America really fast - and lets call it the Titanic!!" or "Shakleton do you fancy visiting the South Pole?" or better still "Tiger Woods asked me to marry me - wow me sooo lucky!!!"
I was totally prepared for my journey to France, yeah I did German!! Well one of my brothers kindly pointed out that since France had been invaded a couple of times by Germany that surely by now they could speak the lingo!
I was going to do the au pair stint, you know stay with a family look after a few kids and enjoy the sights and sounds of Paris. Luckily the family were lovely and I am still friendly with them 20 years later (see their children did survive my tender loving care!) or else they cannot afford to move house and do not know how to avoid me!
It was really strange for me to be somewhere where I really hadn't a clue what people were saying to me and not just because I am a dimwit no they were actually speaking another language - the meanies - simple things like going to the post office, buying a bus ticket or just going to the shop was complicated at first. And the most important thing I did learn was when French people spoke subtitles did not automatically appear in front of them!!!!!
And of course I was sick, yes homesick, I rang home almost every second day, I wrote at least 250 letters a week! I wrote to EVERYBODY I had ever met in my short life.
Dear Barbara, We sat beside each other when we were 10 years old - wow how time flies anyway how are you keeping, me I am living in France, send me your news!!!
P.S. Remember when we used to watch The Little House on the Praerie together??
or
Dear Mrs Morey, I did enjoy been in your german class for those 5 years but now that I am living in France I realised I should have switched over to guess what - oui Français! However since it was Sr Mary Forest (I kid you not that was her name) who did that class and really did not inspire me (unfortunately her voice had a droning quality that even french could not pep up) now ha ha here I am in France, isn't that just so funny. So would you be interested in givng me some hints on how to speak the french lingo as I am stuck here for a year? Auf wiedersein (see haven't lost it)
or
Dear Fr James, I did not always enjoy your sermons every Sunday at Mass but would it be possible for you to send me any old ones you have lying round the house because they may make sense now that I have absolutely no social life I have lots of free time. God Bless
Yes desperate times called for desperate measures.
Then life kicks in, working, making friends, social life, finding a place to live, cooking for yourself (major eye opener especially for the poor people I cooked for), paying bills, laundry etc etc
The plan was to only stay one year - obviousily counting was not my strong point. Ah well nobody is perfect, I mean it could have been worse I could have ended up in Siberia although some French women can give you looks that could turn you to ice - mon dieu what is she wearing?
If someone had told me when I was 21 years old that I would end living in a foreign country I would have laughed myself silly, foreign countries were only good for holidays not actually living there full-time, oh no I was planning to live in an anglophone country like any other normal person!!!
However it turned out that well I am not a normal person (yes some of ye already guessed it) and picked a different route. So far it has been a fairly interesting route but at times I do have to pinch myself (or some 'good' friend volunteers to pinch me) at how it did turn out and even now when I bump into somebody from the past and tell them a bit about myself - short version of course - I still get "you did what? moved to France? what did you do that for?", my answer "it seemed like a good idea at the time......................."
Still does.
Monday 7 March 2011
You never know...........
Happens to all of us with an e-mail address, one day you will receive an inspirational and moving message. Something about how to enjoy life, live in the moment, make most of your loved ones etc etc
Some of them are well written and just to make it seem really authentic then names like Dalai Lama, Ghandi or even some old withered chinese woman is thrown in to make us feel "gosh if the Dalai thought that well it must be TRUE" but they are like fishing lines thrown into the sea of life (how poetic is that??) and the hook is we have to forward it to our nearest and dearest as soon as possible.You know the ones that say "forward this to 6 friends in the next 35.6 seconds and something FANTASTIC will happen to you" or " send this to 5-8 friends = one wish comes true, 9-15 friends = three wishes come true and for 5000 friends = favourite pet comes back from the dead!"
Okay the last bit is untrue so far!
These e-mails are just too tempting for me cos they break my rule - you know the rule we all have about not bombarding our friends and family with really bad jokes, videos etc etc
(By the way please accept my heartfelt apologies for ALL then ones I have sent in the past before my rule kicked into action or was it one of my friends kicked me into action!!)
For me it is hard to resist because well to be honest I do all those little crazy things like when I see one magpie well I wave at it (you know the rhyme about magpies one for sorrow, two for joy etc ) well to be on the safe side when I see one I just have to wave at it because that is suppose to get rid of the bad luck - okay writing that down does make it sound way more odd than when I am waving like a demented egit at solo magpies but hey they love it when I do wave at them.........honest!! Enough on quirky habits!
So getting back to these e-mails, I am so tempted to forward them because well you never know all my wishes may come true. Like yeah right!!!
Did I get thinner? NOPE (may have helped if I went on a diet!!)
Did I win the lotto? NOPE (may have helped if I played more often)
Did I stop eating chocolate? NOPE (clue - look at the answer for the first question)
Did George Clooney come to see me? NOPE (or else I may have been food shopping that day)
All in the negative you see including cool car, fabulous holiday and toy boy - oh wait the last one did arrive yeah he was born last week!!
Nothing so far but that is why they are so tempting to me, maybe there is an inspirational e-mail just on the horizon that once forwarded to all my friends and family - accompanied by sincere apologies of course - then suddenly all my wishes will come true you never know...........................
Some of them are well written and just to make it seem really authentic then names like Dalai Lama, Ghandi or even some old withered chinese woman is thrown in to make us feel "gosh if the Dalai thought that well it must be TRUE" but they are like fishing lines thrown into the sea of life (how poetic is that??) and the hook is we have to forward it to our nearest and dearest as soon as possible.You know the ones that say "forward this to 6 friends in the next 35.6 seconds and something FANTASTIC will happen to you" or " send this to 5-8 friends = one wish comes true, 9-15 friends = three wishes come true and for 5000 friends = favourite pet comes back from the dead!"
Okay the last bit is untrue so far!
These e-mails are just too tempting for me cos they break my rule - you know the rule we all have about not bombarding our friends and family with really bad jokes, videos etc etc
(By the way please accept my heartfelt apologies for ALL then ones I have sent in the past before my rule kicked into action or was it one of my friends kicked me into action!!)
For me it is hard to resist because well to be honest I do all those little crazy things like when I see one magpie well I wave at it (you know the rhyme about magpies one for sorrow, two for joy etc ) well to be on the safe side when I see one I just have to wave at it because that is suppose to get rid of the bad luck - okay writing that down does make it sound way more odd than when I am waving like a demented egit at solo magpies but hey they love it when I do wave at them.........honest!! Enough on quirky habits!
So getting back to these e-mails, I am so tempted to forward them because well you never know all my wishes may come true. Like yeah right!!!
Did I get thinner? NOPE (may have helped if I went on a diet!!)
Did I win the lotto? NOPE (may have helped if I played more often)
Did I stop eating chocolate? NOPE (clue - look at the answer for the first question)
Did George Clooney come to see me? NOPE (or else I may have been food shopping that day)
All in the negative you see including cool car, fabulous holiday and toy boy - oh wait the last one did arrive yeah he was born last week!!
Nothing so far but that is why they are so tempting to me, maybe there is an inspirational e-mail just on the horizon that once forwarded to all my friends and family - accompanied by sincere apologies of course - then suddenly all my wishes will come true you never know...........................
Monday 14 February 2011
To shop or not to shop
Buying clothes should be a simple task right? I mean once you have a bit of cash or plastic - card that is and not any body part - off you go and shop to your hearts content.
Well not always, I live in a country where basically I am lucky they have not yet chopped off my head for the simple sin of not been the width size of an asparagus. You may laugh but buying clothes here ain't always a barrel of laughs especially when according to everyone in this country you look like a barrel!!
Granted things are changing ever so slowly, I mean when I first went clothes shopping in France and actually looked for anything larger than a size 14 either I was sent to the back of the shop where these 'large' sizes were stuffed behind old mannequins - no not Jerry Hall the window ones - or else I was sent to the maternity section.
Ah yes there is nothing better than showing the world that you are young, free single by wearing t-shirts saying "Is it a he or a she?" or "Ssh not long now...." , doesn't exactly have young fellas lining up to talk to you - unless they are gay and wanting to adopt a baby with their partner, sigh!!
And then when you were lucky to find some clothing in your size without a baby theme blased across it well it was normally hideous, I mean paisley is really for covering sofas right?
Or better still it had really bright colours that basically meant that astronauts could see me from space "Houston we have a problem - yep Nuala has gone shopping again!"
So called fashion experts must have thought I go shopping drunk therefore I would buy any old thing!
The joke is here I was living in one of the fashion capitals of the world and couldn't find anything to wear!!
I knew that I would never be size 8, well actually thats a lie because I know I will be when I am at least 6 months dead, seriousily I have figured it out, I knew that I would never be so thin that ethiopians would send me food because they would feel sorry for me but I was more or less okay with that but did I have to buy clothes that would make me look like a piece of furniture or someone from a science fiction film.
(Okay now is the time that all my friends will begin to go through all the clothes I have worn in the past and think " ah yeah that was a bit Star Trek-ish" but of course they will remain silent because they remember my black belt - no not a judo one my black belt with the studs - ouch!!!!)
I mean I could see that I was not the only one in this country that liked to live aka to eat so where did they get their clothes?? It was a mystery. And how did I cope with this terrible dilemma? I waited until I went back to Ireland and shopped with my mother - ha I was so sophisticated.
As I said things have changed, I mean I will not be wearing the latest Jean Paul Gaultier unless it is perfume of course because that fits all sizes but now there is more choice and a difference is actually made between my size and maternity clothes - unbeliveable!!
I suppose the fact that my money is just as good as Miss Feed-me-before-I-faint and that I actually do need to wear clothes - apparently there is a law against shopping naked, driving naked, picking kids up from school naked, the list goes on.
So my excuse for not dressing well "The French made me wear it" may eventually have to go but don't expect me to be a fashion icon, that will take a long long time!!
Well not always, I live in a country where basically I am lucky they have not yet chopped off my head for the simple sin of not been the width size of an asparagus. You may laugh but buying clothes here ain't always a barrel of laughs especially when according to everyone in this country you look like a barrel!!
Granted things are changing ever so slowly, I mean when I first went clothes shopping in France and actually looked for anything larger than a size 14 either I was sent to the back of the shop where these 'large' sizes were stuffed behind old mannequins - no not Jerry Hall the window ones - or else I was sent to the maternity section.
Ah yes there is nothing better than showing the world that you are young, free single by wearing t-shirts saying "Is it a he or a she?" or "Ssh not long now...." , doesn't exactly have young fellas lining up to talk to you - unless they are gay and wanting to adopt a baby with their partner, sigh!!
And then when you were lucky to find some clothing in your size without a baby theme blased across it well it was normally hideous, I mean paisley is really for covering sofas right?
Or better still it had really bright colours that basically meant that astronauts could see me from space "Houston we have a problem - yep Nuala has gone shopping again!"
So called fashion experts must have thought I go shopping drunk therefore I would buy any old thing!
The joke is here I was living in one of the fashion capitals of the world and couldn't find anything to wear!!
I knew that I would never be size 8, well actually thats a lie because I know I will be when I am at least 6 months dead, seriousily I have figured it out, I knew that I would never be so thin that ethiopians would send me food because they would feel sorry for me but I was more or less okay with that but did I have to buy clothes that would make me look like a piece of furniture or someone from a science fiction film.
(Okay now is the time that all my friends will begin to go through all the clothes I have worn in the past and think " ah yeah that was a bit Star Trek-ish" but of course they will remain silent because they remember my black belt - no not a judo one my black belt with the studs - ouch!!!!)
I mean I could see that I was not the only one in this country that liked to live aka to eat so where did they get their clothes?? It was a mystery. And how did I cope with this terrible dilemma? I waited until I went back to Ireland and shopped with my mother - ha I was so sophisticated.
As I said things have changed, I mean I will not be wearing the latest Jean Paul Gaultier unless it is perfume of course because that fits all sizes but now there is more choice and a difference is actually made between my size and maternity clothes - unbeliveable!!
I suppose the fact that my money is just as good as Miss Feed-me-before-I-faint and that I actually do need to wear clothes - apparently there is a law against shopping naked, driving naked, picking kids up from school naked, the list goes on.
So my excuse for not dressing well "The French made me wear it" may eventually have to go but don't expect me to be a fashion icon, that will take a long long time!!
Saturday 5 February 2011
Just one weekend
January is becoming an important month in my calender, no not for the sales or start of a new year - new beginnings etc no that is when I get away with my girlfreinds for a weekend in London.
The joy of traveling is reinstated in me for one weekend, why? well for one I only pack for myself, I only have to worry about when I want to eat, sleep, drink or do any other bodily function without taking a vote or having an audience.We stay in a small hotel where breakfast is served to me (and its not even my birthday or mother's day for that to happen), my room is tidied for me, clean towels magically appear in the bathroom just for me..............................its heaven.
We have an extremely hectic programme for that weekend, talking, eating, laughing, go to a show, laughing, drinking, talking, laughing, some shopping, laughing, sight seeing, talking and of course laughing.
You see it is really really busy and everytime we go it has been a different experience so thats good cos you know how I hate to repeat myself!!
Now don't think that when I am at home I am not going round with a face like a slapped bottom - although some mornings I do have to look twice in the mirror to make sure! Or that I cry non-stop while still dressed in my old pjamas (well that is only when I watch the film The Colour Purple). It is just nice to have a weekend off and be just me for 48 hours.
However I have figured out that in many ways I am been a good mother by leaving them for a weekend - why? well I leave the children with their father so he too can enjoy the joys of parenting 24/7
"Pappppppppa where is?????"
"Pappppppppa he won't share with me!!"
"Pappppppppa can't find the toilet roll!!"
And I am a good wife - now he can enjoy bringing them to all their different activities, playdates and birthday parties for two short days
"what time is your football training?" (the same time like every week!)
"where does your friend live?" (the same house for the last five years and you have been there before!)
- although I think for him they are very very long days!!!!
So really I am helping everyone with my weekend away
Ah the sacrifices one makes when one is a good mother!! (yes they should build a statue in my honour).
And of course when I do get back I am fully appreciated for at least 10 minutes.
Everytime I go my children ask me when am I going to bring them to London and everythime I explain that I am actually on a mission - yep I am actually only going to London to check it out for them .
Now granted after five years they are cottoning on to this 'ruse' espectially the older one - the husband. So one day I will actually have to bring them to London but you see I don't know when cos you know I may have to go back a few more times as I think I may have 'accidently' forgotten to visit a few places, ah you see the sacrifices I have to make!!!
So the next question is can I wait until next January?
The joy of traveling is reinstated in me for one weekend, why? well for one I only pack for myself, I only have to worry about when I want to eat, sleep, drink or do any other bodily function without taking a vote or having an audience.We stay in a small hotel where breakfast is served to me (and its not even my birthday or mother's day for that to happen), my room is tidied for me, clean towels magically appear in the bathroom just for me..............................its heaven.
We have an extremely hectic programme for that weekend, talking, eating, laughing, go to a show, laughing, drinking, talking, laughing, some shopping, laughing, sight seeing, talking and of course laughing.
You see it is really really busy and everytime we go it has been a different experience so thats good cos you know how I hate to repeat myself!!
Now don't think that when I am at home I am not going round with a face like a slapped bottom - although some mornings I do have to look twice in the mirror to make sure! Or that I cry non-stop while still dressed in my old pjamas (well that is only when I watch the film The Colour Purple). It is just nice to have a weekend off and be just me for 48 hours.
However I have figured out that in many ways I am been a good mother by leaving them for a weekend - why? well I leave the children with their father so he too can enjoy the joys of parenting 24/7
"Pappppppppa where is?????"
"Pappppppppa he won't share with me!!"
"Pappppppppa can't find the toilet roll!!"
And I am a good wife - now he can enjoy bringing them to all their different activities, playdates and birthday parties for two short days
"what time is your football training?" (the same time like every week!)
"where does your friend live?" (the same house for the last five years and you have been there before!)
- although I think for him they are very very long days!!!!
So really I am helping everyone with my weekend away
Ah the sacrifices one makes when one is a good mother!! (yes they should build a statue in my honour).
And of course when I do get back I am fully appreciated for at least 10 minutes.
Everytime I go my children ask me when am I going to bring them to London and everythime I explain that I am actually on a mission - yep I am actually only going to London to check it out for them .
Now granted after five years they are cottoning on to this 'ruse' espectially the older one - the husband. So one day I will actually have to bring them to London but you see I don't know when cos you know I may have to go back a few more times as I think I may have 'accidently' forgotten to visit a few places, ah you see the sacrifices I have to make!!!
So the next question is can I wait until next January?
Wednesday 5 January 2011
Any day now.........................
I must be a very patient person, I mean I am still waiting after all these years for it to happen.
It is not winning the lotto or anything extraordinary like that, no I am actually waiting to grow up!
Yeah I know it sounds strange but my idea of been 'grown up' is not exactly matching the image I had of it as a teenager and well since that was way back in the last century - yikes, it is probably dated now.
Let me explain what my ideas were, well been a real self centred teenager like most teenagers my main concern was on my appearance, yeah forget saving the whales it was all about me! me! me! Apparently once grown up certain things would just fall into place like snowflakes falling gently to the ground - ah how poetic!
There would just be a 'light bulb' moment and I would just 'know' how to put on make up skillfully and look immaculate, it was a given because I would be 'grown up', socks would be a thing of the past because 'grown ups' wore tights - not pop socks which only go as far as your knees but evidently roll down to your ankles therefore should be called pop-ankle-socks, no honest-to-good tights that never laddered and just make your legs look fantastic. I would just 'know' how to dress perfectly, the latest styles would just look so good on me because yep you guessed it I would be 'grown up' and as for my hair well the shine from it could be used as a guiding light to airplanes in fog!! I would be a fantastic cook because I would just 'know' how to rustle up a 5 course meal without my hair loosing any shine or bounce (oh did I not mention the 'bounce' real important that!)
Life would be just so easy, nothing to worry about because obviousily been 'grown up' I would just know what to do and say at the right time.
So when exactly will this happen because so far nothing has fallen into place like I thought it would, putting on make up is basically hit and miss, yeah I can look like someone beat me up with the way I 'layer' it all or else the five year old in me goes wild and thinks Coco the clown look is so 'in'.
At the moment for me tights are only worn for weddings, funerals and job interviews - preferably not all on the same day but I can rarely find them because I think all my socks have eaten them or else thrown them out of the sock drawer - yes still have a sock drawer!!
Fashion, have heard of it, sometimes followed it (leg warmers anyone?) but my body seems to fight again it so clothes shopping can be a nightmare as head goes "oh that looks really pretty" and body goes "seriousily keep walking" or head says "now that will be gorgeous on me" and body goes "as if!!" So instead of looking like someone having a fit in the dressing rooms I have for the moment decided to tell the head 'shush!'
Now hair, mmm, tricky one that, basically after getting it done I need to sleep sitting up so it looks gorgeous and not like an owl's nest and since I must have no will power or else I like sleeping so the airplanes will just remain lost!
Cooking, I know that one, it is done in the kitchen - enough said!!!
So you see not exactly 'grown up' yet, but as I said I must be a patient person or a very optimistic person because surely the 'light bulb' moment is only round the corner so watch out you may actually walk past me because you won't recognise the 'grown up' me as I will be just fabulous!!
Or else you are avoiding me because Coco the clown has broken out again!!!
Ah well stay tuned any day now.............
It is not winning the lotto or anything extraordinary like that, no I am actually waiting to grow up!
Yeah I know it sounds strange but my idea of been 'grown up' is not exactly matching the image I had of it as a teenager and well since that was way back in the last century - yikes, it is probably dated now.
Let me explain what my ideas were, well been a real self centred teenager like most teenagers my main concern was on my appearance, yeah forget saving the whales it was all about me! me! me! Apparently once grown up certain things would just fall into place like snowflakes falling gently to the ground - ah how poetic!
There would just be a 'light bulb' moment and I would just 'know' how to put on make up skillfully and look immaculate, it was a given because I would be 'grown up', socks would be a thing of the past because 'grown ups' wore tights - not pop socks which only go as far as your knees but evidently roll down to your ankles therefore should be called pop-ankle-socks, no honest-to-good tights that never laddered and just make your legs look fantastic. I would just 'know' how to dress perfectly, the latest styles would just look so good on me because yep you guessed it I would be 'grown up' and as for my hair well the shine from it could be used as a guiding light to airplanes in fog!! I would be a fantastic cook because I would just 'know' how to rustle up a 5 course meal without my hair loosing any shine or bounce (oh did I not mention the 'bounce' real important that!)
Life would be just so easy, nothing to worry about because obviousily been 'grown up' I would just know what to do and say at the right time.
So when exactly will this happen because so far nothing has fallen into place like I thought it would, putting on make up is basically hit and miss, yeah I can look like someone beat me up with the way I 'layer' it all or else the five year old in me goes wild and thinks Coco the clown look is so 'in'.
At the moment for me tights are only worn for weddings, funerals and job interviews - preferably not all on the same day but I can rarely find them because I think all my socks have eaten them or else thrown them out of the sock drawer - yes still have a sock drawer!!
Fashion, have heard of it, sometimes followed it (leg warmers anyone?) but my body seems to fight again it so clothes shopping can be a nightmare as head goes "oh that looks really pretty" and body goes "seriousily keep walking" or head says "now that will be gorgeous on me" and body goes "as if!!" So instead of looking like someone having a fit in the dressing rooms I have for the moment decided to tell the head 'shush!'
Now hair, mmm, tricky one that, basically after getting it done I need to sleep sitting up so it looks gorgeous and not like an owl's nest and since I must have no will power or else I like sleeping so the airplanes will just remain lost!
Cooking, I know that one, it is done in the kitchen - enough said!!!
So you see not exactly 'grown up' yet, but as I said I must be a patient person or a very optimistic person because surely the 'light bulb' moment is only round the corner so watch out you may actually walk past me because you won't recognise the 'grown up' me as I will be just fabulous!!
Or else you are avoiding me because Coco the clown has broken out again!!!
Ah well stay tuned any day now.............
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