Buying clothes should be a simple task right? I mean once you have a bit of cash or plastic - card that is and not any body part - off you go and shop to your hearts content.
Well not always, I live in a country where basically I am lucky they have not yet chopped off my head for the simple sin of not been the width size of an asparagus. You may laugh but buying clothes here ain't always a barrel of laughs especially when according to everyone in this country you look like a barrel!!
Granted things are changing ever so slowly, I mean when I first went clothes shopping in France and actually looked for anything larger than a size 14 either I was sent to the back of the shop where these 'large' sizes were stuffed behind old mannequins - no not Jerry Hall the window ones - or else I was sent to the maternity section.
Ah yes there is nothing better than showing the world that you are young, free single by wearing t-shirts saying "Is it a he or a she?" or "Ssh not long now...." , doesn't exactly have young fellas lining up to talk to you - unless they are gay and wanting to adopt a baby with their partner, sigh!!
And then when you were lucky to find some clothing in your size without a baby theme blased across it well it was normally hideous, I mean paisley is really for covering sofas right?
Or better still it had really bright colours that basically meant that astronauts could see me from space "Houston we have a problem - yep Nuala has gone shopping again!"
So called fashion experts must have thought I go shopping drunk therefore I would buy any old thing!
The joke is here I was living in one of the fashion capitals of the world and couldn't find anything to wear!!
I knew that I would never be size 8, well actually thats a lie because I know I will be when I am at least 6 months dead, seriousily I have figured it out, I knew that I would never be so thin that ethiopians would send me food because they would feel sorry for me but I was more or less okay with that but did I have to buy clothes that would make me look like a piece of furniture or someone from a science fiction film.
(Okay now is the time that all my friends will begin to go through all the clothes I have worn in the past and think " ah yeah that was a bit Star Trek-ish" but of course they will remain silent because they remember my black belt - no not a judo one my black belt with the studs - ouch!!!!)
I mean I could see that I was not the only one in this country that liked to live aka to eat so where did they get their clothes?? It was a mystery. And how did I cope with this terrible dilemma? I waited until I went back to Ireland and shopped with my mother - ha I was so sophisticated.
As I said things have changed, I mean I will not be wearing the latest Jean Paul Gaultier unless it is perfume of course because that fits all sizes but now there is more choice and a difference is actually made between my size and maternity clothes - unbeliveable!!
I suppose the fact that my money is just as good as Miss Feed-me-before-I-faint and that I actually do need to wear clothes - apparently there is a law against shopping naked, driving naked, picking kids up from school naked, the list goes on.
So my excuse for not dressing well "The French made me wear it" may eventually have to go but don't expect me to be a fashion icon, that will take a long long time!!
So true! Although, as scary as it may sound, I was actually thrilled when I arrived in France, because the sizes here are more "normal" than in Spain! (Read: DO NOT go clothes shopping in Spain if you are Anglo-Saxon!!!) When I was a 19 year-old study abroad student in Madrid, I went into a local shop to buy the latest outfit. I was quickly told by the sales person that they did not carry my size there, and that I would have to go to a "large person's shop"! Just what a 19 year-old needs to hear to boost her self-esteem! In France, I can occasionally find blouses that button across my bust, however, more often than not, the sleeves are too short! My remedy for this problem: do my clothes shopping for the year while in NY for summer vacation! I feel your pain... Dmarie
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