Push!! Push!! Ewwwwwwwwwww yep got through my 40th year!!
As life begins at 40 then I am back at the beginning so Happy 1st to me!! And naturally I will not be making the same mistakes like in my past life, all those bad clothing, hair and make-up choices are now firmly a thing of the past and I just need to hide all the evidence.
No this time round I am sure to do it just right, perfect hair, perfect body and of course perfect life and then my body had other plans and give me something new to play with..............diabetes.
Due to an unseemly swelling on my cheek (no the facial cheek!!) Dr Lamblot (I kid you not) sent me for a blood test.
People ask each other important questions like where were you when Neil Armstrong walked on the moon or when Madoona wore a pointy cone bra like top (extremely important you know) and well when they will ask me 'where were you when you got your news?" my answer would be "drinking a cup of tea and having a biscuit" - yes God does have a sense of humour.
When I finished speaking to him - the Doctor not God - well I did the only thing I could possibly do..................I finished my biscuit!!!
The doctor at the hospital could not believe that I did not realise I had diabetes apparently my sugar level was so high!!
Weren't you very thirsty?
I am Irish we always drink 250 cups of tea a day!
Did you pee a lot?
See answer to the first question!
Weren't you tired?
Well it is the month of June one of the busiest months of the year with kids, school and work so of course I am tired
Did you not dramatically loose a lot of weight recently?
Crap no I didn't...........hey wait a second how big do you think I was before??????
After several minutes of questioning he just stopped!!
It was a proud moment I stumped a specialist!!! I think he even left my hospital room crying with frustration!
So after a few days & nights of been pricked and prodded (no it was not that much fun!) I got sent home with me pills to start afresh, yes even had my Scarlett O'Hara moment in the reception area, standing tall with a raised fist shouting "Tomorrow is another day!!!" and then the old guy with the walker told me to move out his way (obviousily he had no sense of humour although you think he did when you saw his pyjamas)
So back to my ordainary life methinks, ah no not exactly.
My children were thrilled to announce to the world that their mother had diabetes, all was missing was them ringing a bell everytime I left the house and shouting "unclean unclean" like I was a leper or better still "hide your lollipops she is coming!!!" At last they had something to tell their friends about me, I mean this whole "she is Irish etc" was wearing thin now they had something cool and well interesting, at last I have done someting right for them, I got a chronic disease, what a mother I am!!!
For certain people this gave them a new hobbie,their highlight of the day was to watch what food I put into my mouth, I kid you not. Maybe they miss those far off days when their own children began feeding themselves and they looked on with awe that suddenly I was able to fill that need and even better still they could question me on it "you are allowed to EAT THAT!!" and then there were the really subtle ones "move that cake, biscuits,cookies away from Nuala now" actually what they needed was a foghorn and then they could really go to town with it "Nuala put down the chocolate cookie and step away"
And I got so sick of explaining that I can eat almost everything and like everyone should be doing I should just follow a stable healthy diet that by the end of the day when husband asked his question of the day "are you allowed to eat that?" then my answer of the day varied from "yes" to "fuck off" and sometimes the two together "yes fuck off!"
Other reactions varied from "oh my god your life is ruined" to "I knew there was something wrong with you!" ah why thank you for the support............................not!
Then one friend said to me "ah you were just too sweet" which did make me laugh "me? sweet?" he does have a sense of humour!!!
So after all the explainations of tablets, checking sugar levels, eat only a little of this, a lot of that etc etc that the one thing that really upset me was that the Doctor told me that I can't walk barefoot anymore as your feet and hands loose their sensitivity therefore you could easily cut yourself and not feel it etc and I love walking in my bare feet!!
The pills etc didn't bother me but not walking barefoot well that just takes the biscuit........no pun intended!
Monday 13 December 2010
Saturday 4 December 2010
To whom it may concern....................................
Ah yes Christmas time is coming, time to sit down, go through the address book and get those cards done. As time goes this task has been getting quicker why?
Orginally when I left Ireland for France it was for one year, yes the classic tale of an au-pair going to France for a year and then 20 years later still been here, well for me it was au-pair gig which led to a job in a creche which then led to a job in a school and meanwhile meeting a Frenchman and then it all went downhill from there................................har har har
When the decision was made to go to France all my friends swore on a stack of bibles that they would write to me on a regular basis (stack of bibles swear outweighs a pinkie swear!!!)
And at first there was a regular correspondence going on but then my one year turned into two, three, four years etc it got less and frankly (well I am soooooooo honest) it was from their side.
Life does take over we all get busy it is normal but what I found was when I went home for Christmas or during the summer and phoned them I would get the usual:
"oh I haven't heard from you in ages.................."(oh my five page letter sent last month doesn't count then)
"I sent you a letter .................."(no is it was a postcard 7 months ago which just said 'hi from Killarney!")
When you do meet up they tell you about their new jobs, new boyfriends, engagement parties (the one they had the night before but forgot to invite you too eventhough you had sent a letter with the dates of your arrival) and of course babies (yeah had one last week, oh I didn't tell you cos I didn't have time - yeah 9 months of pregnancy just flies past!!!)
Basically as I had left Ireland therefore it was entirely up to me to keep this friendship going cos well I had the cheek to abandon ship and make a life elsewhere.
So I had to do the letter writing and for heavens sake don't expect an answer because that is just crazy, when you do go home to Ireland then you are expected to go to see them and so what if you just had something important happen in your life like an engagement or even had a baby who had just had chicken pox, no don't be lazy get in your car and do the three hour drive to see them, have one bloody cup of tea (be friggin thankful to get that) and then leave cos I am going out to a club with my friends!!!!!(oh I forgot to get you a gift for said engagement or new baby hey I'll send it on by post - still waiting!!)
And then sure you try and give them the benefit of the doubt and actually start phoning them cos well they are obviousily so tired from going out clubbin etc with their new friends and have no time to write a letter the poor things.
But no that is nearly as bad, either they are about as talkative as a stone or else they spend time having a conversation with other people in the room with them (thanks so much for letting me listen in to a conversation with your flatmates that you see on a regular basis and for letting me pay for this pleasure !!)
Yes I was a dim wit but it is only when these things happen that you get the light bulb moment and well you say to yourself "screw that!!!" and suddenly your address book becomes lighter, only the quality is left and not the quantity - oh how poetic!
Do I miss any of them? Well yes of course at times I do there was a reason that we were friends in the first place and I wonder whatever happened to them but in the end I think that I probably valued them more than they did me (can you hear the violins in the background?) and of course I can shake my fist and say "their loss" but such is life and well you just know that when they make the film of my life I will pick the most horrendous looking women to play their roles - yep karma is a bitch!!
So if you don't receive a Christmas card from me you should know that it is in the post.........................honest!!!
Orginally when I left Ireland for France it was for one year, yes the classic tale of an au-pair going to France for a year and then 20 years later still been here, well for me it was au-pair gig which led to a job in a creche which then led to a job in a school and meanwhile meeting a Frenchman and then it all went downhill from there................................har har har
When the decision was made to go to France all my friends swore on a stack of bibles that they would write to me on a regular basis (stack of bibles swear outweighs a pinkie swear!!!)
And at first there was a regular correspondence going on but then my one year turned into two, three, four years etc it got less and frankly (well I am soooooooo honest) it was from their side.
Life does take over we all get busy it is normal but what I found was when I went home for Christmas or during the summer and phoned them I would get the usual:
"oh I haven't heard from you in ages.................."(oh my five page letter sent last month doesn't count then)
"I sent you a letter .................."(no is it was a postcard 7 months ago which just said 'hi from Killarney!")
When you do meet up they tell you about their new jobs, new boyfriends, engagement parties (the one they had the night before but forgot to invite you too eventhough you had sent a letter with the dates of your arrival) and of course babies (yeah had one last week, oh I didn't tell you cos I didn't have time - yeah 9 months of pregnancy just flies past!!!)
Basically as I had left Ireland therefore it was entirely up to me to keep this friendship going cos well I had the cheek to abandon ship and make a life elsewhere.
So I had to do the letter writing and for heavens sake don't expect an answer because that is just crazy, when you do go home to Ireland then you are expected to go to see them and so what if you just had something important happen in your life like an engagement or even had a baby who had just had chicken pox, no don't be lazy get in your car and do the three hour drive to see them, have one bloody cup of tea (be friggin thankful to get that) and then leave cos I am going out to a club with my friends!!!!!(oh I forgot to get you a gift for said engagement or new baby hey I'll send it on by post - still waiting!!)
And then sure you try and give them the benefit of the doubt and actually start phoning them cos well they are obviousily so tired from going out clubbin etc with their new friends and have no time to write a letter the poor things.
But no that is nearly as bad, either they are about as talkative as a stone or else they spend time having a conversation with other people in the room with them (thanks so much for letting me listen in to a conversation with your flatmates that you see on a regular basis and for letting me pay for this pleasure !!)
Yes I was a dim wit but it is only when these things happen that you get the light bulb moment and well you say to yourself "screw that!!!" and suddenly your address book becomes lighter, only the quality is left and not the quantity - oh how poetic!
Do I miss any of them? Well yes of course at times I do there was a reason that we were friends in the first place and I wonder whatever happened to them but in the end I think that I probably valued them more than they did me (can you hear the violins in the background?) and of course I can shake my fist and say "their loss" but such is life and well you just know that when they make the film of my life I will pick the most horrendous looking women to play their roles - yep karma is a bitch!!
So if you don't receive a Christmas card from me you should know that it is in the post.........................honest!!!
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