Ah remember those wonderful years of been a teenager?
No.....neither do I. As I see my daugther gradually coming up to those years I am torn in either sending her to Easter Island for the duration of adolescence or filling up the fridge with lots of wine, yep the wine won.
I think one of the worse things of those years is all those body issues that pardon the phrase 'pop up', I mean your hormones are playing havoc with your emotions and then you get an enormous spot right in the middle of your forehead, Mother Nature does have a sick sense of humour. So been of the caring and sharing type of mother I have decided to give a few pointers to my daughter for these 'formative' years.
Boobs
They will arrive in some shape or form so be happy when I bring you to get measured for a bra etc and do not ask for a sparkly bra, too bloomin hard to wash!!
Hair
When the urge of experimenting with hair colour comes upon you, go to shop, buy proper hair colour, use it carefully and enjoy whatever disaster that happens do not use red, green or blue food colour dye because you think it is cool and you are saving money, nope all that money saved will be used on cleaning every item of clothing that came into contact with your hair to get rid of that 'cool' colour!!
Hair Part 2
If you should bemoan the fact that your hair is not as curly as you wish it to be then get it slightly curled to see the effect do not put rollers/curlers in your hair for a whole day and night - trust me you do not want to come out looking like a muppet or an outcast from Annie!!
Body Hair
Oh yeah its gonna happen so be prepared, when you finally think that you are beginning to look like the missing link thanks to your hairy legs then go get them waxed do not shave them using a razor that has seen better days and do not shave on the ankle bone!!!! you will be amazed at the amount of blood that spurts out from this place!!
Body Hair Part 2
Armpits - yep even there Mother Nature had to have a laugh, unfortunately these areas because real sweaty pits and need to be removed on a regular basis do not fool yourself in thinking that body spray/perfume will do the job, no when Mother Nature was inventing the arm pit area she was basing it on several stinky french cheeses!!!!
Facial Hair Part 1
Oh yeah when you are in the missing link mode you may notice that a slug has left a trail across your top lip!! do not try out any new fangled methods to get rid of this 'trail' blast it off with wax but not the candle kind!!
Facial Hair Part 2
So as the slug left the trail on your upper lip your eyebrows may have gotten lonely and either decided to meet up in the middle of your forehead to have a chat or due to cold weather decided to resemble a thorny bush do not use a razor or scissors to did this job, if you know of any landscape gardener in need of business contact them failing that go get them waxed!! The correct wax of course!!
Crimsom Tide
Ah yes the wonderful sign from Mother Nature that you are a woman, yep instead of diamonds been sent once a month, you feel your insides are been put through a blender - ah bliss this womanhood malarky but the must important thing to learn about this time is do not wear white!!
trust me it always, always goes wrong!
I will stop there for the moment as if I tell her anymore she may just pack herself off to Easter Island to avoid adolescence, so naturally I am so looking forward to these years like I look forward to plucking my eyebrows but my plan to keep them blurry should work, a glass of wine anyone??
Sunday, 19 June 2011
Thursday, 9 June 2011
OMG...................................
In some parts of the world the silly season has begun.
This has nothing to do with hunting wild animals, getting unusual tattoos done or trying to marry George Clooney (okay that might be the season I am trying to start!)
No there are parents out there in the universe getting themselves in a tizz for their child's First Holy Communion - first time little Jimmy or Bridget gets to really participate at Mass by receiving the small disc shaped bread and not the other participation of whining "when can we go home?" "will the priest ever stop talking?" and that just from my husband!!! And then for the collection box certain people would only "pretend" to drop it in the box and then happily show me their ill gotten gains in their sweaty hands at the end of Mass (no this time it was not my husband!)
When I was a little girl yes that far back the girls wore simple white dresses with a small veil yeah bordering on the wedding look and the boys were in their best Sunday suits, family and neighbours would give you some money or a small gift - rosary beads, bible, future birth plan - I'm joking!!
Then if you were lucky you went out for lunch -for me it was sausages and chips with a coke (the drink and not the recreational drug), few photos where there is always someone sulking and off home to look forward to telling everyone the next day how much money you got and comparing gifts - yes we were all shallow children but it wasn't our fault MTV hadn't been invented yet!!
I heard from friends in Ireland that in the last few years it has gone a bit crazy, girls in mini wedding dresses with a veil to match, the boys still wore their Sunday best suits but then had way out haircuts and as for the money well apparently some children could pratically put a downpayment on a house with their communion money, then there were the parties, eight course meals at the most posh hotel followed by a party at home with a bouncy castle, pony rides etc
Actually MTV could have done a show on these events, way more crazy than those Sweet Sixteen shows. To say that it had gone out of control is a bit like saying Lady Gaga is slightly flamboyant!!
Well compared to these people then I am an absolute cheap cow! All I arrange for my lot is a small party in the garden with simple food and drink (simple meaning that there is little or no preparation!) and a few friends and they can bounce the absolute heck out of themselves on the trrampoline!
Ah well no complaints so far!!
My third child is doing his First Communion this week, he is all excited and even more so since cards with money have arrived from Ireland - wow this First Communion gig is finally getting more interesting for him.
This is the child that when he started catechism classes was asked to draw a picture of Jesus and what did he do?
He drew Jesus in his underwear and just to make it extra-special he made sure to give him hairy arms and legs - yep really enjoyed the conversation with his teacher that day!!
So to say that I was a little bit worried about him doing his First Confession with the priest is an understatement, first of all I thought I was going to have an extremely long wait after he lists all of his "sins" (those of you who have met him know what I mean) but thankfully his teacher advised the children to only tell one thing but then there was the dilemma of "which one to tell?"
And also should I have an ambulance on stand-by for the priest?
Thankfully it went beautifully and the priest survived - phew!! As the year went on I thought my little fella seemed to enjoy these classes and actually getting an understanding of all this preparation for his First Holy Communion but then a few weeks ago the children were asked
"what does the priest do with the bread and wine at Mass?"
His answer
"he changes them into cake and coke!"
Opps ah well we are still keeping the money he got and I know he'll enjoy the day!
This has nothing to do with hunting wild animals, getting unusual tattoos done or trying to marry George Clooney (okay that might be the season I am trying to start!)
No there are parents out there in the universe getting themselves in a tizz for their child's First Holy Communion - first time little Jimmy or Bridget gets to really participate at Mass by receiving the small disc shaped bread and not the other participation of whining "when can we go home?" "will the priest ever stop talking?" and that just from my husband!!! And then for the collection box certain people would only "pretend" to drop it in the box and then happily show me their ill gotten gains in their sweaty hands at the end of Mass (no this time it was not my husband!)
When I was a little girl yes that far back the girls wore simple white dresses with a small veil yeah bordering on the wedding look and the boys were in their best Sunday suits, family and neighbours would give you some money or a small gift - rosary beads, bible, future birth plan - I'm joking!!
Then if you were lucky you went out for lunch -for me it was sausages and chips with a coke (the drink and not the recreational drug), few photos where there is always someone sulking and off home to look forward to telling everyone the next day how much money you got and comparing gifts - yes we were all shallow children but it wasn't our fault MTV hadn't been invented yet!!
I heard from friends in Ireland that in the last few years it has gone a bit crazy, girls in mini wedding dresses with a veil to match, the boys still wore their Sunday best suits but then had way out haircuts and as for the money well apparently some children could pratically put a downpayment on a house with their communion money, then there were the parties, eight course meals at the most posh hotel followed by a party at home with a bouncy castle, pony rides etc
Actually MTV could have done a show on these events, way more crazy than those Sweet Sixteen shows. To say that it had gone out of control is a bit like saying Lady Gaga is slightly flamboyant!!
Well compared to these people then I am an absolute cheap cow! All I arrange for my lot is a small party in the garden with simple food and drink (simple meaning that there is little or no preparation!) and a few friends and they can bounce the absolute heck out of themselves on the trrampoline!
Ah well no complaints so far!!
My third child is doing his First Communion this week, he is all excited and even more so since cards with money have arrived from Ireland - wow this First Communion gig is finally getting more interesting for him.
This is the child that when he started catechism classes was asked to draw a picture of Jesus and what did he do?
He drew Jesus in his underwear and just to make it extra-special he made sure to give him hairy arms and legs - yep really enjoyed the conversation with his teacher that day!!
So to say that I was a little bit worried about him doing his First Confession with the priest is an understatement, first of all I thought I was going to have an extremely long wait after he lists all of his "sins" (those of you who have met him know what I mean) but thankfully his teacher advised the children to only tell one thing but then there was the dilemma of "which one to tell?"
And also should I have an ambulance on stand-by for the priest?
Thankfully it went beautifully and the priest survived - phew!! As the year went on I thought my little fella seemed to enjoy these classes and actually getting an understanding of all this preparation for his First Holy Communion but then a few weeks ago the children were asked
"what does the priest do with the bread and wine at Mass?"
His answer
"he changes them into cake and coke!"
Opps ah well we are still keeping the money he got and I know he'll enjoy the day!
Sunday, 29 May 2011
Mother's Day
On the radio this week mothers were asked their best Mother's Day memory and it made me think of my best Mother's Day meomories.
The first time I actually celebrated Mother's Day was lovely, granted my son was just two months old and oblivious to it all so hubbie had to do the honours of getting flowers etc but I remember been delighted in finally been able to participate in this day as an actual mother!
My daughter was born on Mother's Day in 2000 so that was a wonderful gift and seeing my son come to the hospital with a bunch of flowers that were bigger than him made me laugh and cry at the same time.
Then there are all those memories of gifts made in school, pasta bracelets, boxes covered in pasta, picture frames with pasta (jeez teachers do I look that hungry!!) and all the little cards and poems given with care and all the excitement they have in trying to hide things they had made for me during those last few days before Mother's Day and what a good actress I became showing my suprise at all these pasta-based gifts (frankly I should have won at least several oscars for these performances!!)
As my children are getting older one part of this day that I enjoy more is
"hey its Mother's Day it is my day off so go see your Father!"
You Mums know what I am talking about..................
"Mama we're hungry/thirsty/bored!!" "go see your Father!"
"Mama we can't find a book/a game/ a limb!" "go see your Father!"
"Mama he/she won't play with me!!" "go see your Father!"
I figure that since the other 364 days are Father's Days I should at least get this one all to me as best as I can.
Today also reminds me of my own mother who is no longer here, I could never remember the Irish Mother's day date so would always send her gift on French Mother's Day, she told me she enjoyed having two Mother's Day a year (might be the way to go - celebrate every country's Mother's Day!)
Anyway I have a very busy day planned for me today and wrote a list -
smile at gifts
say thank you for gifts
do nothing else
As you can see extremely exhausting day planned so to all you mothers make some memories and enjoy your day - might as well it is the only official day off we have!!
The first time I actually celebrated Mother's Day was lovely, granted my son was just two months old and oblivious to it all so hubbie had to do the honours of getting flowers etc but I remember been delighted in finally been able to participate in this day as an actual mother!
My daughter was born on Mother's Day in 2000 so that was a wonderful gift and seeing my son come to the hospital with a bunch of flowers that were bigger than him made me laugh and cry at the same time.
Then there are all those memories of gifts made in school, pasta bracelets, boxes covered in pasta, picture frames with pasta (jeez teachers do I look that hungry!!) and all the little cards and poems given with care and all the excitement they have in trying to hide things they had made for me during those last few days before Mother's Day and what a good actress I became showing my suprise at all these pasta-based gifts (frankly I should have won at least several oscars for these performances!!)
As my children are getting older one part of this day that I enjoy more is
"hey its Mother's Day it is my day off so go see your Father!"
You Mums know what I am talking about..................
"Mama we're hungry/thirsty/bored!!" "go see your Father!"
"Mama we can't find a book/a game/ a limb!" "go see your Father!"
"Mama he/she won't play with me!!" "go see your Father!"
I figure that since the other 364 days are Father's Days I should at least get this one all to me as best as I can.
Today also reminds me of my own mother who is no longer here, I could never remember the Irish Mother's day date so would always send her gift on French Mother's Day, she told me she enjoyed having two Mother's Day a year (might be the way to go - celebrate every country's Mother's Day!)
Anyway I have a very busy day planned for me today and wrote a list -
smile at gifts
say thank you for gifts
do nothing else
As you can see extremely exhausting day planned so to all you mothers make some memories and enjoy your day - might as well it is the only official day off we have!!
Wednesday, 27 April 2011
The Truth about me.................
Was sent this by Ms Brightside cos she is nosy!!!But I could have told you that ages ago.
So going have to lie down on the couch to answer these questions, why? well I am a bit lazy!!!
Which living person do I must admire and why?
To be honest I admire many people in my life, certain friends and family members who have had crap thrown at them (not literally) and still get on with it and smile.
When were you happiest?
First pregnancy as I thought it would never ever happen and when it did was over the moon!!
What was your most embarrassing moment?
The list is long starting from the age of six slipping off a fence and accidently showing my underwear to a whole bunch of other kids, the worse thing was the boy I liked was present!!! And then a whole bunch of stuff in my 20's but as I don't have a large rum & coke in front of me you'll not find out!!
Aside from property, what's the most expensive thing you've bought?
A red leather couch (as far as I am concerned the car does not count, goes under the list of essentials!)
What is your most treasured possession?
Got to cheat on this one just a little - certain photographs that capture a certain memory or time
Where would you like to live?
Well I am pretty content with where I am so it will do.
What's your favourite smell?
White musk
Who would play you in the film of your life?
Tony Sheldon - yep a bloke - saw him play Bernadette in Priscilla Queen of the Desert in London and he was brillant, he would make me look good, failing that Catherine Zeta Jones - she needs the money (ha ha ha)
What is your favourite book?
Eva Luna & Stories of Eva Luna by Isabel Allende
What would be your most unappealing habit?
Can be terrible for putting things off until the very last nanosecond!!
What would be your fancy dress costume of choice?
Anne Boleyn with the head.
What would be your earliest memory?
I was three years old and I went to England with my mother on the ferry, remember been in the cabin on the ferry and been in my Aunt Ellen's flat on her balcony.
What is your guiltiest pleasure?
Life is too short to feeling guilty about pleasure so just enjoy and forget the guilt!!
What do you owe your parents?
My sense of humour
To whom would you most like to say sorry and why?
Oh hard one this question, probably would have to say sorry to my mother for not bringing the kids over to see her during her last few months but then again I didn't realise they were her last few months but still am very sorry I didn't.
What or who is the greatest love of your life?
My little family
What does love feel like?
It feels very safe and exciting at the same time
What was the best kiss of your life?
Again where is that rum & coke? The first one with my loved one closely tied in with ???
Which words or phrases do you most overuse?
At the moment it is "bloody"
What is the worst job you've done?
All my jobs had funny moments so I more or less enjoyed them but if I have to pick one it would have to have been picking potatoes - bloody hard work!!
If you could edit your past what would you change?
Generally nothing but a few fashion choices!!
What is the closest you've come to death?
Unfortunately when loved ones have died
What do you consider your greatest achievement?
I can't yet say my children as that is still "work in progress" but still happy to have achieved their existence, I achieved to make a life for myself in a different country which still stuns me and my friendships.
When did you last cry and why?
Reading a book, the main charactor was talking about the grief she felt after her sister's death, reminded me of so many things.
How do you like to relax?
Having a good laugh and chat with my girlfriends sharing tea, wine or cocktails (not that fussy!)
What single thing would improve the quality of your life?
My sensible side would say been in good health while my crazy side would say having Ben Barnes move in next door.
What is the most imprtant lesson life has taught you?
Be happy because nobody will do it for you and laugh whenever you can!!
Gosh time to get off the couch methinks and get a large rum & coke!!
So going have to lie down on the couch to answer these questions, why? well I am a bit lazy!!!
Which living person do I must admire and why?
To be honest I admire many people in my life, certain friends and family members who have had crap thrown at them (not literally) and still get on with it and smile.
When were you happiest?
First pregnancy as I thought it would never ever happen and when it did was over the moon!!
What was your most embarrassing moment?
The list is long starting from the age of six slipping off a fence and accidently showing my underwear to a whole bunch of other kids, the worse thing was the boy I liked was present!!! And then a whole bunch of stuff in my 20's but as I don't have a large rum & coke in front of me you'll not find out!!
Aside from property, what's the most expensive thing you've bought?
A red leather couch (as far as I am concerned the car does not count, goes under the list of essentials!)
What is your most treasured possession?
Got to cheat on this one just a little - certain photographs that capture a certain memory or time
Where would you like to live?
Well I am pretty content with where I am so it will do.
What's your favourite smell?
White musk
Who would play you in the film of your life?
Tony Sheldon - yep a bloke - saw him play Bernadette in Priscilla Queen of the Desert in London and he was brillant, he would make me look good, failing that Catherine Zeta Jones - she needs the money (ha ha ha)
What is your favourite book?
Eva Luna & Stories of Eva Luna by Isabel Allende
What would be your most unappealing habit?
Can be terrible for putting things off until the very last nanosecond!!
What would be your fancy dress costume of choice?
Anne Boleyn with the head.
What would be your earliest memory?
I was three years old and I went to England with my mother on the ferry, remember been in the cabin on the ferry and been in my Aunt Ellen's flat on her balcony.
What is your guiltiest pleasure?
Life is too short to feeling guilty about pleasure so just enjoy and forget the guilt!!
What do you owe your parents?
My sense of humour
To whom would you most like to say sorry and why?
Oh hard one this question, probably would have to say sorry to my mother for not bringing the kids over to see her during her last few months but then again I didn't realise they were her last few months but still am very sorry I didn't.
What or who is the greatest love of your life?
My little family
What does love feel like?
It feels very safe and exciting at the same time
What was the best kiss of your life?
Again where is that rum & coke? The first one with my loved one closely tied in with ???
Which words or phrases do you most overuse?
At the moment it is "bloody"
What is the worst job you've done?
All my jobs had funny moments so I more or less enjoyed them but if I have to pick one it would have to have been picking potatoes - bloody hard work!!
If you could edit your past what would you change?
Generally nothing but a few fashion choices!!
What is the closest you've come to death?
Unfortunately when loved ones have died
What do you consider your greatest achievement?
I can't yet say my children as that is still "work in progress" but still happy to have achieved their existence, I achieved to make a life for myself in a different country which still stuns me and my friendships.
When did you last cry and why?
Reading a book, the main charactor was talking about the grief she felt after her sister's death, reminded me of so many things.
How do you like to relax?
Having a good laugh and chat with my girlfriends sharing tea, wine or cocktails (not that fussy!)
What single thing would improve the quality of your life?
My sensible side would say been in good health while my crazy side would say having Ben Barnes move in next door.
What is the most imprtant lesson life has taught you?
Be happy because nobody will do it for you and laugh whenever you can!!
Gosh time to get off the couch methinks and get a large rum & coke!!
Tuesday, 26 April 2011
To read or not to read..................
Murder, Passion, Comedy, Historical, Mystery and Romance - no not the names of my hippie children but different types of books I like to read.
Reading is one of my favourite past times, my family hate to see me with a book in my hand, not because I'll hit them with it (okay it did come in handy those few times) but because I can get so engrossed in a book that I will actually forget certain things like cook dinner - hey there are crackers somewhere or drop them off at their friend's house - they can walk can't they?
As my reading time is precious I have actually stopped reading certain books half way through because well life is too short and I could not give a toss what happened in the story, I have shouted at one or two books (well it did deserve it !) and the worse has been when I have actually guessed the ending half way through the book, that wasn't a case of who-done-it more of you-bloody-idiot-everyone-can-guess-who-did-it!!
There are two words that actually scare me in connection to books - Book Club.
I think the idea of having to read a book in a time limit brings back bad memories of studying for exams - I know it is not that exactly but anyone I know in a Book Club has said one time or another
"Oh God I have to read 350 pages by next Thursday for the next Book Club meeting"
"My book choices never get picked!"
"Did not understand half of that book"
"That book depressed me and everybody in the club loved it!!"
or my all time favourite
"Read the wrong bloody book"
Now before you Book Club members start throwing books at me (providing I haven't read them - carry on!) I know that it can be a great way to be introduced to new authors and styles of books that you normally would not have read but it does seem that there are times you end up with books on your shelf that you don't really want or you don't want people know that you have!
I take the lazy option and let my friends suggest books to me and thanks to them have read some really good ones granted if the book suggestions start going downhill well I will just have to change friends then won't I?
Of course future Book Clubs will have to change there names to iBook Clubs or Kindle Klubs which will bring a whole lot of new situations
"Could not download the book properly"
"Erased the whole book by accident"
"Hurt my finger with all the scrolling"
and of course
"Downloaded the wrong bloody book!"
So to all you bookworms out there happy reading but remember to feed the family from time to time!!
Reading is one of my favourite past times, my family hate to see me with a book in my hand, not because I'll hit them with it (okay it did come in handy those few times) but because I can get so engrossed in a book that I will actually forget certain things like cook dinner - hey there are crackers somewhere or drop them off at their friend's house - they can walk can't they?
As my reading time is precious I have actually stopped reading certain books half way through because well life is too short and I could not give a toss what happened in the story, I have shouted at one or two books (well it did deserve it !) and the worse has been when I have actually guessed the ending half way through the book, that wasn't a case of who-done-it more of you-bloody-idiot-everyone-can-guess-who-did-it!!
There are two words that actually scare me in connection to books - Book Club.
I think the idea of having to read a book in a time limit brings back bad memories of studying for exams - I know it is not that exactly but anyone I know in a Book Club has said one time or another
"Oh God I have to read 350 pages by next Thursday for the next Book Club meeting"
"My book choices never get picked!"
"Did not understand half of that book"
"That book depressed me and everybody in the club loved it!!"
or my all time favourite
"Read the wrong bloody book"
Now before you Book Club members start throwing books at me (providing I haven't read them - carry on!) I know that it can be a great way to be introduced to new authors and styles of books that you normally would not have read but it does seem that there are times you end up with books on your shelf that you don't really want or you don't want people know that you have!
I take the lazy option and let my friends suggest books to me and thanks to them have read some really good ones granted if the book suggestions start going downhill well I will just have to change friends then won't I?
Of course future Book Clubs will have to change there names to iBook Clubs or Kindle Klubs which will bring a whole lot of new situations
"Could not download the book properly"
"Erased the whole book by accident"
"Hurt my finger with all the scrolling"
and of course
"Downloaded the wrong bloody book!"
So to all you bookworms out there happy reading but remember to feed the family from time to time!!
Wednesday, 16 March 2011
You did what?.....................
Twenty years of living in France!
And no not in a prison or mental home, although for those of ye who have visited my home you may disagree!
Maybe I should have had my head examined but like all ideas you don't always know the outcome , you know like the idea of "lets make a huge ship and sail from England to America really fast - and lets call it the Titanic!!" or "Shakleton do you fancy visiting the South Pole?" or better still "Tiger Woods asked me to marry me - wow me sooo lucky!!!"
I was totally prepared for my journey to France, yeah I did German!! Well one of my brothers kindly pointed out that since France had been invaded a couple of times by Germany that surely by now they could speak the lingo!
I was going to do the au pair stint, you know stay with a family look after a few kids and enjoy the sights and sounds of Paris. Luckily the family were lovely and I am still friendly with them 20 years later (see their children did survive my tender loving care!) or else they cannot afford to move house and do not know how to avoid me!
It was really strange for me to be somewhere where I really hadn't a clue what people were saying to me and not just because I am a dimwit no they were actually speaking another language - the meanies - simple things like going to the post office, buying a bus ticket or just going to the shop was complicated at first. And the most important thing I did learn was when French people spoke subtitles did not automatically appear in front of them!!!!!
And of course I was sick, yes homesick, I rang home almost every second day, I wrote at least 250 letters a week! I wrote to EVERYBODY I had ever met in my short life.
Dear Barbara, We sat beside each other when we were 10 years old - wow how time flies anyway how are you keeping, me I am living in France, send me your news!!!
P.S. Remember when we used to watch The Little House on the Praerie together??
or
Dear Mrs Morey, I did enjoy been in your german class for those 5 years but now that I am living in France I realised I should have switched over to guess what - oui Français! However since it was Sr Mary Forest (I kid you not that was her name) who did that class and really did not inspire me (unfortunately her voice had a droning quality that even french could not pep up) now ha ha here I am in France, isn't that just so funny. So would you be interested in givng me some hints on how to speak the french lingo as I am stuck here for a year? Auf wiedersein (see haven't lost it)
or
Dear Fr James, I did not always enjoy your sermons every Sunday at Mass but would it be possible for you to send me any old ones you have lying round the house because they may make sense now that I have absolutely no social life I have lots of free time. God Bless
Yes desperate times called for desperate measures.
Then life kicks in, working, making friends, social life, finding a place to live, cooking for yourself (major eye opener especially for the poor people I cooked for), paying bills, laundry etc etc
The plan was to only stay one year - obviousily counting was not my strong point. Ah well nobody is perfect, I mean it could have been worse I could have ended up in Siberia although some French women can give you looks that could turn you to ice - mon dieu what is she wearing?
If someone had told me when I was 21 years old that I would end living in a foreign country I would have laughed myself silly, foreign countries were only good for holidays not actually living there full-time, oh no I was planning to live in an anglophone country like any other normal person!!!
However it turned out that well I am not a normal person (yes some of ye already guessed it) and picked a different route. So far it has been a fairly interesting route but at times I do have to pinch myself (or some 'good' friend volunteers to pinch me) at how it did turn out and even now when I bump into somebody from the past and tell them a bit about myself - short version of course - I still get "you did what? moved to France? what did you do that for?", my answer "it seemed like a good idea at the time......................."
Still does.
And no not in a prison or mental home, although for those of ye who have visited my home you may disagree!
Maybe I should have had my head examined but like all ideas you don't always know the outcome , you know like the idea of "lets make a huge ship and sail from England to America really fast - and lets call it the Titanic!!" or "Shakleton do you fancy visiting the South Pole?" or better still "Tiger Woods asked me to marry me - wow me sooo lucky!!!"
I was totally prepared for my journey to France, yeah I did German!! Well one of my brothers kindly pointed out that since France had been invaded a couple of times by Germany that surely by now they could speak the lingo!
I was going to do the au pair stint, you know stay with a family look after a few kids and enjoy the sights and sounds of Paris. Luckily the family were lovely and I am still friendly with them 20 years later (see their children did survive my tender loving care!) or else they cannot afford to move house and do not know how to avoid me!
It was really strange for me to be somewhere where I really hadn't a clue what people were saying to me and not just because I am a dimwit no they were actually speaking another language - the meanies - simple things like going to the post office, buying a bus ticket or just going to the shop was complicated at first. And the most important thing I did learn was when French people spoke subtitles did not automatically appear in front of them!!!!!
And of course I was sick, yes homesick, I rang home almost every second day, I wrote at least 250 letters a week! I wrote to EVERYBODY I had ever met in my short life.
Dear Barbara, We sat beside each other when we were 10 years old - wow how time flies anyway how are you keeping, me I am living in France, send me your news!!!
P.S. Remember when we used to watch The Little House on the Praerie together??
or
Dear Mrs Morey, I did enjoy been in your german class for those 5 years but now that I am living in France I realised I should have switched over to guess what - oui Français! However since it was Sr Mary Forest (I kid you not that was her name) who did that class and really did not inspire me (unfortunately her voice had a droning quality that even french could not pep up) now ha ha here I am in France, isn't that just so funny. So would you be interested in givng me some hints on how to speak the french lingo as I am stuck here for a year? Auf wiedersein (see haven't lost it)
or
Dear Fr James, I did not always enjoy your sermons every Sunday at Mass but would it be possible for you to send me any old ones you have lying round the house because they may make sense now that I have absolutely no social life I have lots of free time. God Bless
Yes desperate times called for desperate measures.
Then life kicks in, working, making friends, social life, finding a place to live, cooking for yourself (major eye opener especially for the poor people I cooked for), paying bills, laundry etc etc
The plan was to only stay one year - obviousily counting was not my strong point. Ah well nobody is perfect, I mean it could have been worse I could have ended up in Siberia although some French women can give you looks that could turn you to ice - mon dieu what is she wearing?
If someone had told me when I was 21 years old that I would end living in a foreign country I would have laughed myself silly, foreign countries were only good for holidays not actually living there full-time, oh no I was planning to live in an anglophone country like any other normal person!!!
However it turned out that well I am not a normal person (yes some of ye already guessed it) and picked a different route. So far it has been a fairly interesting route but at times I do have to pinch myself (or some 'good' friend volunteers to pinch me) at how it did turn out and even now when I bump into somebody from the past and tell them a bit about myself - short version of course - I still get "you did what? moved to France? what did you do that for?", my answer "it seemed like a good idea at the time......................."
Still does.
Monday, 7 March 2011
You never know...........
Happens to all of us with an e-mail address, one day you will receive an inspirational and moving message. Something about how to enjoy life, live in the moment, make most of your loved ones etc etc
Some of them are well written and just to make it seem really authentic then names like Dalai Lama, Ghandi or even some old withered chinese woman is thrown in to make us feel "gosh if the Dalai thought that well it must be TRUE" but they are like fishing lines thrown into the sea of life (how poetic is that??) and the hook is we have to forward it to our nearest and dearest as soon as possible.You know the ones that say "forward this to 6 friends in the next 35.6 seconds and something FANTASTIC will happen to you" or " send this to 5-8 friends = one wish comes true, 9-15 friends = three wishes come true and for 5000 friends = favourite pet comes back from the dead!"
Okay the last bit is untrue so far!
These e-mails are just too tempting for me cos they break my rule - you know the rule we all have about not bombarding our friends and family with really bad jokes, videos etc etc
(By the way please accept my heartfelt apologies for ALL then ones I have sent in the past before my rule kicked into action or was it one of my friends kicked me into action!!)
For me it is hard to resist because well to be honest I do all those little crazy things like when I see one magpie well I wave at it (you know the rhyme about magpies one for sorrow, two for joy etc ) well to be on the safe side when I see one I just have to wave at it because that is suppose to get rid of the bad luck - okay writing that down does make it sound way more odd than when I am waving like a demented egit at solo magpies but hey they love it when I do wave at them.........honest!! Enough on quirky habits!
So getting back to these e-mails, I am so tempted to forward them because well you never know all my wishes may come true. Like yeah right!!!
Did I get thinner? NOPE (may have helped if I went on a diet!!)
Did I win the lotto? NOPE (may have helped if I played more often)
Did I stop eating chocolate? NOPE (clue - look at the answer for the first question)
Did George Clooney come to see me? NOPE (or else I may have been food shopping that day)
All in the negative you see including cool car, fabulous holiday and toy boy - oh wait the last one did arrive yeah he was born last week!!
Nothing so far but that is why they are so tempting to me, maybe there is an inspirational e-mail just on the horizon that once forwarded to all my friends and family - accompanied by sincere apologies of course - then suddenly all my wishes will come true you never know...........................
Some of them are well written and just to make it seem really authentic then names like Dalai Lama, Ghandi or even some old withered chinese woman is thrown in to make us feel "gosh if the Dalai thought that well it must be TRUE" but they are like fishing lines thrown into the sea of life (how poetic is that??) and the hook is we have to forward it to our nearest and dearest as soon as possible.You know the ones that say "forward this to 6 friends in the next 35.6 seconds and something FANTASTIC will happen to you" or " send this to 5-8 friends = one wish comes true, 9-15 friends = three wishes come true and for 5000 friends = favourite pet comes back from the dead!"
Okay the last bit is untrue so far!
These e-mails are just too tempting for me cos they break my rule - you know the rule we all have about not bombarding our friends and family with really bad jokes, videos etc etc
(By the way please accept my heartfelt apologies for ALL then ones I have sent in the past before my rule kicked into action or was it one of my friends kicked me into action!!)
For me it is hard to resist because well to be honest I do all those little crazy things like when I see one magpie well I wave at it (you know the rhyme about magpies one for sorrow, two for joy etc ) well to be on the safe side when I see one I just have to wave at it because that is suppose to get rid of the bad luck - okay writing that down does make it sound way more odd than when I am waving like a demented egit at solo magpies but hey they love it when I do wave at them.........honest!! Enough on quirky habits!
So getting back to these e-mails, I am so tempted to forward them because well you never know all my wishes may come true. Like yeah right!!!
Did I get thinner? NOPE (may have helped if I went on a diet!!)
Did I win the lotto? NOPE (may have helped if I played more often)
Did I stop eating chocolate? NOPE (clue - look at the answer for the first question)
Did George Clooney come to see me? NOPE (or else I may have been food shopping that day)
All in the negative you see including cool car, fabulous holiday and toy boy - oh wait the last one did arrive yeah he was born last week!!
Nothing so far but that is why they are so tempting to me, maybe there is an inspirational e-mail just on the horizon that once forwarded to all my friends and family - accompanied by sincere apologies of course - then suddenly all my wishes will come true you never know...........................
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