Ah just shoot me, I was doing so well and then BANG, back to the beginning, yep my friggin new year's resolution went out the window which is annoying because I actually got past January!!!
I have atempted different types of resolutions like:
stop writing to George Clooney, stop phoning George Clooney, stop collecting restraining orders from George Clooney .....amazingly the medication helped out on this one!!!!
So I moved on to other resolutions, one year I decided that every month I would send a letter to a friend, well I thought that the old fashioned way has its' charms and I certainly love getting letters, nice idea wasn't it, until September rolled round and I realised that I had sent absolutely NOTHING to anyone!! so like a homework assignment I wrote 9 letters and well when I say "letters" half of them were postcards, well the people who received were pleased.
(no George did not receive any I was cured that year!!)
And then of course are the old ones you drag up now and then, go on a diet, this is an easy one because at Christmas/New Year time all the women's magazines are just full of stories on women who lost LOADS of weight really fast, well it seems that way because first of all you see the 'before' photo on the cover and by the time you get to page 56 you see the 'after' photo you see how quickly it goes.
Certain women related that when they divorced their husbands that the weight just "fell off" - does that mean that they were carrying them?
Anyway the kids won't go for that idea.
"Children I need to divorce your father to loose weight!" no can't see that one working.
No this year I picked something simple and easy to follow, or so I thought.
My simple resolution this year was to be zen on school day mornings, yes Zen-Mum!
Seems simple right?
No more T-Rex Mum,screaming,crying, running around like a headless chicken or dinosaur, shouting "get up" "eat your breakfast" "get dressed" "brush your teeth, hair, body-hair etc" "get your bus ticket" "RUN"!! and that was just for the husband so you can imagine what it is like for the children.
I was doing so well and things were going smoothly and then this morning due to the snow I thought I would drive my eldest son to the bus stop because I was Zen Mum so I could do it all, it was literally a two minute drive, just as we arrived at the stop he announced that he had forgotten his bus ticket!!!!
Well in literally 2.5 seconds Zen Mum turned into T-Rex Mum yep I roared!!!!
And for the two minute drive to and from the house - do the math - yep 4 minutes, I roared !!!
Anyway all is well again T-Rex Mum has left the building (for now) and Zen Mum is due to land tomorrow morning to start the resolution malarky again and hopefully will not have to learn the lyrics of "Opps I did it again................."(but that is not a resolution!!)
Maybe I should go back to the George Clooney resolution..................
Wednesday, 8 February 2012
Tuesday, 8 November 2011
Today is for smiling.....................................
Today old letters will be read.
Today photographs will remind me of good times.
Today I will remind myself that I was lucky she was my 'Mam'.
Today happy memories will be shared with my children.
Today the jokes, the laughs and the endless cups of tea will be fondly remembered.
Today I will hum her favourtie songs
Today is a reminder that eight years is a drop in the ocean.
Today a candle will be lit in rememberance.
Today sadness will be pushed aside.
Today I will remember her voice, her laugh and her smile.
Today is for smiling............................................and maybe a few little tears.
Today photographs will remind me of good times.
Today I will remind myself that I was lucky she was my 'Mam'.
Today happy memories will be shared with my children.
Today the jokes, the laughs and the endless cups of tea will be fondly remembered.
Today I will hum her favourtie songs
Today is a reminder that eight years is a drop in the ocean.
Today a candle will be lit in rememberance.
Today sadness will be pushed aside.
Today I will remember her voice, her laugh and her smile.
Today is for smiling............................................and maybe a few little tears.
Tuesday, 27 September 2011
Divide and conquer..................................not!
You know the film 'Clash of the Titans' well that is actually based on what happens in my household.
Granted chez moi it is a low-budget version of it but basically the plot of family members not getting on and causing mayhem in the household is quite present.
So like a film this is how it takes place;
1st Child enters a room looking for a sibling to bother (okay maybe not exactly looking for someone to bother but definately looking for 'something' to do)
2nd Child does not want to be bothered and therefore gets into 'defense' mode (this defense mode can take on many forms, shouting, hitting, throwing stuff at sibling, there even has been a case of biting!)
3rd Child either decides to be the peacemaker or joins in with the fight (either way he or she will also end up with injuries!)
Then follows lots of special effects - mostly shouting, stamping feet, slamming doors (well this is a low-budget version) and then someone gets hurt and cries and then I hear that sweet sound of
"MAMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA"
been screamed around the house in different voices until someone finds me
(I really need to find better hiding places)
This does not happen on a daily basis, only on days ending in 'y'!
I check for injuries, any cuts and bruises, any loose teeth, the usual inspection then rant like a fish-wife for five minutes, once I get my breath back I then become like Zeus I pass a sentence - everyone is 'banished' to their rooms and are 'forbidden' to speak each other.
Then calm reigns in the household and along come the closing credits with the words
THE END............................................or is it.
The first 30 minutes are calm and then I will hear a bedroom door creak open really quietly and Zeus-like I bellow up the stairs
"where are you going?"
a squeaky voice answers
"getting a drink/going to the toilet/finding my limb that fell off during the fight"
Then there is the whispering and patter of feet so been god-like and nosey I go to check it out and that is when I find the three of them all together in one room playing a game together like little angels and thats when I would like to turn into Medusa and turn the little blighters into stone!
Way back when I had more than 5 brain cells (B.C. before children) the idea of having lots of children seemed such a good idea but the thing we forget is that once we get past two kids you are actually outnumbering the adults in your household unless of course your other half is a big child and ah well can't help you there.
Of course you can attempt "divide and conquer" but this only works when you are using the following items - sweets, ice-cream, television and if all else fails - money!(technically can be seen as protection money).
There can be alternative endings (do not have to wait for the DVD box set to see this) they grow out of it, get bored by it or find quieter ways of annoying each other.
Ah bliss, the joys of parenthood.
Granted chez moi it is a low-budget version of it but basically the plot of family members not getting on and causing mayhem in the household is quite present.
So like a film this is how it takes place;
1st Child enters a room looking for a sibling to bother (okay maybe not exactly looking for someone to bother but definately looking for 'something' to do)
2nd Child does not want to be bothered and therefore gets into 'defense' mode (this defense mode can take on many forms, shouting, hitting, throwing stuff at sibling, there even has been a case of biting!)
3rd Child either decides to be the peacemaker or joins in with the fight (either way he or she will also end up with injuries!)
Then follows lots of special effects - mostly shouting, stamping feet, slamming doors (well this is a low-budget version) and then someone gets hurt and cries and then I hear that sweet sound of
"MAMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA"
been screamed around the house in different voices until someone finds me
(I really need to find better hiding places)
This does not happen on a daily basis, only on days ending in 'y'!
I check for injuries, any cuts and bruises, any loose teeth, the usual inspection then rant like a fish-wife for five minutes, once I get my breath back I then become like Zeus I pass a sentence - everyone is 'banished' to their rooms and are 'forbidden' to speak each other.
Then calm reigns in the household and along come the closing credits with the words
THE END............................................or is it.
The first 30 minutes are calm and then I will hear a bedroom door creak open really quietly and Zeus-like I bellow up the stairs
"where are you going?"
a squeaky voice answers
"getting a drink/going to the toilet/finding my limb that fell off during the fight"
Then there is the whispering and patter of feet so been god-like and nosey I go to check it out and that is when I find the three of them all together in one room playing a game together like little angels and thats when I would like to turn into Medusa and turn the little blighters into stone!
Way back when I had more than 5 brain cells (B.C. before children) the idea of having lots of children seemed such a good idea but the thing we forget is that once we get past two kids you are actually outnumbering the adults in your household unless of course your other half is a big child and ah well can't help you there.
Of course you can attempt "divide and conquer" but this only works when you are using the following items - sweets, ice-cream, television and if all else fails - money!(technically can be seen as protection money).
There can be alternative endings (do not have to wait for the DVD box set to see this) they grow out of it, get bored by it or find quieter ways of annoying each other.
Ah bliss, the joys of parenthood.
Thursday, 8 September 2011
The "W" word
Two of the most scariest words in the world begin with "w".
Here they are
"weight" and even worse than that "waistline"
(hope nobody fainted)
I have been a big boned girl for a long time (ok I know we all have the same sized bones but this is my version) and have never ever been the slim willowly type woman more of an oak tree with large branches kinda of woman. Once I was complimented on my fine 'child-bearing' hips - yes the last of the great romantics lives in Ireland, he didn't seem to understand why this compliment did not endear me to him!! I occasionally fretted about it as you do when you are young but at the time I was using the memory of a goldfish and used the age old mantra
"ah feck it I'll do something about it tomorrow" and then "what am I suppose to do tomorrow?" see goldfish brain!
Of course now the funny thing is that when I see photographs of my younger self I think "why did you get your knickers in a twist sure you were fine" compared to now I was a bloomin top model!
Now I do have a waistline, it is round here somewhere (ha ha ha) and yes I would like to loose weight just as much as the next person unless that person is _____________ (fill in the gap with the name of anyone famous you think are too thin!) And granted my eating plan so far has been hit and miss, okay thinking that because I did not eat 10 chocolate biscuits my body should drop a kilo in weight in appreciation may not be the best plan but hey a girl has to try.
I have thought of alternative plans - wiring my jaw shut (ah no that was my husband's idea!)
not buying any food (funnily enough my children do not like this plan) and dare I even say it - doing sport (you see how desperate I became!!)
I have often read inspiring stories of woman who seemingly overnight lost 2 dress sizes, the only time I did that is when I accidently donated the wrong clothes bag to charity!! Or you know those 'chick-lit' books where the woman is so unhappy with her life and suddenly she turns it all around and the 'weight' just drops off her, well the only time weight actually dropped off me was when I gave birth or accidently dropped my slice of carrot cake!!
However I always took time to inspire others with a "w" issue, some years back I met a new Mum who had a little baby and she was complaining about how she hadn't yet lost any of the 'baby' weight she gained during pregnancy, I told her that it was the same for me,
Me - How old is your baby?
Her - Nearly 3 hours old (only kidding!) 6 months old so it is time I lost the weight and your child?
Me - Ah lets see, nearly 10 years old!
And she was fine once she stopped sobbing hysterically.
So now I have apparently hit the age of reason (ouch did not see that coming) and should be more grown up about this 'weighty' issue (har har har) and more serious (well it is a heavy subject!) and do all that serious malarky - eating well and doing sport (oh nearly had a dizzy spell writing that!) and then apparently that is when you loose weight (yep sounds dodgey doesn't it?) or else I could just hire David Copperfield to 'magic' it away!!Hey it could be the new 'diet', forget Atkins, South Beach etc no do a Copperfield and "magic" it away or better still "saw" it away!
No?
Okay it was worth a shot, I will make an effort, yep I'll only eat 8 low fat chocolate biscuits now (see the effort I am making!! amazing huh?) and see if my body will at least drop 100 grammes in appreciation of my will power.
See I am not afraid of the "w" words.................................okay just a little!!
Here they are
"weight" and even worse than that "waistline"
(hope nobody fainted)
I have been a big boned girl for a long time (ok I know we all have the same sized bones but this is my version) and have never ever been the slim willowly type woman more of an oak tree with large branches kinda of woman. Once I was complimented on my fine 'child-bearing' hips - yes the last of the great romantics lives in Ireland, he didn't seem to understand why this compliment did not endear me to him!! I occasionally fretted about it as you do when you are young but at the time I was using the memory of a goldfish and used the age old mantra
"ah feck it I'll do something about it tomorrow" and then "what am I suppose to do tomorrow?" see goldfish brain!
Of course now the funny thing is that when I see photographs of my younger self I think "why did you get your knickers in a twist sure you were fine" compared to now I was a bloomin top model!
Now I do have a waistline, it is round here somewhere (ha ha ha) and yes I would like to loose weight just as much as the next person unless that person is _____________ (fill in the gap with the name of anyone famous you think are too thin!) And granted my eating plan so far has been hit and miss, okay thinking that because I did not eat 10 chocolate biscuits my body should drop a kilo in weight in appreciation may not be the best plan but hey a girl has to try.
I have thought of alternative plans - wiring my jaw shut (ah no that was my husband's idea!)
not buying any food (funnily enough my children do not like this plan) and dare I even say it - doing sport (you see how desperate I became!!)
I have often read inspiring stories of woman who seemingly overnight lost 2 dress sizes, the only time I did that is when I accidently donated the wrong clothes bag to charity!! Or you know those 'chick-lit' books where the woman is so unhappy with her life and suddenly she turns it all around and the 'weight' just drops off her, well the only time weight actually dropped off me was when I gave birth or accidently dropped my slice of carrot cake!!
However I always took time to inspire others with a "w" issue, some years back I met a new Mum who had a little baby and she was complaining about how she hadn't yet lost any of the 'baby' weight she gained during pregnancy, I told her that it was the same for me,
Me - How old is your baby?
Her - Nearly 3 hours old (only kidding!) 6 months old so it is time I lost the weight and your child?
Me - Ah lets see, nearly 10 years old!
And she was fine once she stopped sobbing hysterically.
So now I have apparently hit the age of reason (ouch did not see that coming) and should be more grown up about this 'weighty' issue (har har har) and more serious (well it is a heavy subject!) and do all that serious malarky - eating well and doing sport (oh nearly had a dizzy spell writing that!) and then apparently that is when you loose weight (yep sounds dodgey doesn't it?) or else I could just hire David Copperfield to 'magic' it away!!Hey it could be the new 'diet', forget Atkins, South Beach etc no do a Copperfield and "magic" it away or better still "saw" it away!
No?
Okay it was worth a shot, I will make an effort, yep I'll only eat 8 low fat chocolate biscuits now (see the effort I am making!! amazing huh?) and see if my body will at least drop 100 grammes in appreciation of my will power.
See I am not afraid of the "w" words.................................okay just a little!!
Saturday, 20 August 2011
No 4...........................................................
She is a brown eyed blonde that wants to be entertained on a regualr basis, thinks she is the cutest thing that has walked the planet and drools when she sees her food and is a right bitch, yep thats our dog.
It all started when my husband and eldest son went to the food market and came back with an appointment to see a dog (note to oneself send them to another food market).
Driving over there I remember telling my extremely over-excited sons - we are only going to meet this dog nothing else!
I was feeling smug because I said that we all had to like the dog and my secret weapon was my daugther!! Yep she strongly objected to us even visiting this dog oh yeah Little Miss Vocal kept repeating 'I do not like dogs" and "we have two cats already" and "dogs are smelly" and so for me it was in bag, we would be returning home without the four legged beast!!!
Within five minutes of meeting the dog, my daugther, my secret weapon, turns to me and says
"can we bring her home!!!!"
And presto there we have no 4 at home.
After living in appartment our garden must have looked like a field and therefore explained why she got lost between the back door and the washing line on a regular basis.
Her name is Calice (french for chalice), were we feeling religious when we got her?
Was it a case of 'oh God we have a dog!' no that is the name she came with so that was that. She was two years old when she came to us so in dog years that makes her a teenager, what were we thinking in bringing a four legged hormonal teenager into the house!!
So in the last two years I have had to drag myself out in all weathers to 'walk' her (okay I'll be honest in really bad weather I either run her to the end of my street - a whole 1.75 minute walk), getting a tick off her eyelid - they really do 'pop' when they are pulled out (yuck), bringing her to dog school (well she is a bitch - har har har) no needed a few tips on walking a strong dog and keeping my arms in my sockets, hoovering up all her dog hair - crikey we could make a new dog with all the hair that comes off her and then recently the highlight of my pre-breakfast routine had been to spray a desinfectant up her ass (due to an infection) - yes life cannot get any better after that!!
Ah well she does always seem very pleased to see me which is nice (does that make her gay?) and she does have the softest ears so alright we'll keep her for the time been, besides my husband is delighted to have a blonde who obeys him!!
It all started when my husband and eldest son went to the food market and came back with an appointment to see a dog (note to oneself send them to another food market).
Driving over there I remember telling my extremely over-excited sons - we are only going to meet this dog nothing else!
I was feeling smug because I said that we all had to like the dog and my secret weapon was my daugther!! Yep she strongly objected to us even visiting this dog oh yeah Little Miss Vocal kept repeating 'I do not like dogs" and "we have two cats already" and "dogs are smelly" and so for me it was in bag, we would be returning home without the four legged beast!!!
Within five minutes of meeting the dog, my daugther, my secret weapon, turns to me and says
"can we bring her home!!!!"
And presto there we have no 4 at home.
After living in appartment our garden must have looked like a field and therefore explained why she got lost between the back door and the washing line on a regular basis.
Her name is Calice (french for chalice), were we feeling religious when we got her?
Was it a case of 'oh God we have a dog!' no that is the name she came with so that was that. She was two years old when she came to us so in dog years that makes her a teenager, what were we thinking in bringing a four legged hormonal teenager into the house!!
So in the last two years I have had to drag myself out in all weathers to 'walk' her (okay I'll be honest in really bad weather I either run her to the end of my street - a whole 1.75 minute walk), getting a tick off her eyelid - they really do 'pop' when they are pulled out (yuck), bringing her to dog school (well she is a bitch - har har har) no needed a few tips on walking a strong dog and keeping my arms in my sockets, hoovering up all her dog hair - crikey we could make a new dog with all the hair that comes off her and then recently the highlight of my pre-breakfast routine had been to spray a desinfectant up her ass (due to an infection) - yes life cannot get any better after that!!
Ah well she does always seem very pleased to see me which is nice (does that make her gay?) and she does have the softest ears so alright we'll keep her for the time been, besides my husband is delighted to have a blonde who obeys him!!
Sunday, 19 June 2011
Oh extremely important things to tell my daughter................................
Ah remember those wonderful years of been a teenager?
No.....neither do I. As I see my daugther gradually coming up to those years I am torn in either sending her to Easter Island for the duration of adolescence or filling up the fridge with lots of wine, yep the wine won.
I think one of the worse things of those years is all those body issues that pardon the phrase 'pop up', I mean your hormones are playing havoc with your emotions and then you get an enormous spot right in the middle of your forehead, Mother Nature does have a sick sense of humour. So been of the caring and sharing type of mother I have decided to give a few pointers to my daughter for these 'formative' years.
Boobs
They will arrive in some shape or form so be happy when I bring you to get measured for a bra etc and do not ask for a sparkly bra, too bloomin hard to wash!!
Hair
When the urge of experimenting with hair colour comes upon you, go to shop, buy proper hair colour, use it carefully and enjoy whatever disaster that happens do not use red, green or blue food colour dye because you think it is cool and you are saving money, nope all that money saved will be used on cleaning every item of clothing that came into contact with your hair to get rid of that 'cool' colour!!
Hair Part 2
If you should bemoan the fact that your hair is not as curly as you wish it to be then get it slightly curled to see the effect do not put rollers/curlers in your hair for a whole day and night - trust me you do not want to come out looking like a muppet or an outcast from Annie!!
Body Hair
Oh yeah its gonna happen so be prepared, when you finally think that you are beginning to look like the missing link thanks to your hairy legs then go get them waxed do not shave them using a razor that has seen better days and do not shave on the ankle bone!!!! you will be amazed at the amount of blood that spurts out from this place!!
Body Hair Part 2
Armpits - yep even there Mother Nature had to have a laugh, unfortunately these areas because real sweaty pits and need to be removed on a regular basis do not fool yourself in thinking that body spray/perfume will do the job, no when Mother Nature was inventing the arm pit area she was basing it on several stinky french cheeses!!!!
Facial Hair Part 1
Oh yeah when you are in the missing link mode you may notice that a slug has left a trail across your top lip!! do not try out any new fangled methods to get rid of this 'trail' blast it off with wax but not the candle kind!!
Facial Hair Part 2
So as the slug left the trail on your upper lip your eyebrows may have gotten lonely and either decided to meet up in the middle of your forehead to have a chat or due to cold weather decided to resemble a thorny bush do not use a razor or scissors to did this job, if you know of any landscape gardener in need of business contact them failing that go get them waxed!! The correct wax of course!!
Crimsom Tide
Ah yes the wonderful sign from Mother Nature that you are a woman, yep instead of diamonds been sent once a month, you feel your insides are been put through a blender - ah bliss this womanhood malarky but the must important thing to learn about this time is do not wear white!!
trust me it always, always goes wrong!
I will stop there for the moment as if I tell her anymore she may just pack herself off to Easter Island to avoid adolescence, so naturally I am so looking forward to these years like I look forward to plucking my eyebrows but my plan to keep them blurry should work, a glass of wine anyone??
No.....neither do I. As I see my daugther gradually coming up to those years I am torn in either sending her to Easter Island for the duration of adolescence or filling up the fridge with lots of wine, yep the wine won.
I think one of the worse things of those years is all those body issues that pardon the phrase 'pop up', I mean your hormones are playing havoc with your emotions and then you get an enormous spot right in the middle of your forehead, Mother Nature does have a sick sense of humour. So been of the caring and sharing type of mother I have decided to give a few pointers to my daughter for these 'formative' years.
Boobs
They will arrive in some shape or form so be happy when I bring you to get measured for a bra etc and do not ask for a sparkly bra, too bloomin hard to wash!!
Hair
When the urge of experimenting with hair colour comes upon you, go to shop, buy proper hair colour, use it carefully and enjoy whatever disaster that happens do not use red, green or blue food colour dye because you think it is cool and you are saving money, nope all that money saved will be used on cleaning every item of clothing that came into contact with your hair to get rid of that 'cool' colour!!
Hair Part 2
If you should bemoan the fact that your hair is not as curly as you wish it to be then get it slightly curled to see the effect do not put rollers/curlers in your hair for a whole day and night - trust me you do not want to come out looking like a muppet or an outcast from Annie!!
Body Hair
Oh yeah its gonna happen so be prepared, when you finally think that you are beginning to look like the missing link thanks to your hairy legs then go get them waxed do not shave them using a razor that has seen better days and do not shave on the ankle bone!!!! you will be amazed at the amount of blood that spurts out from this place!!
Body Hair Part 2
Armpits - yep even there Mother Nature had to have a laugh, unfortunately these areas because real sweaty pits and need to be removed on a regular basis do not fool yourself in thinking that body spray/perfume will do the job, no when Mother Nature was inventing the arm pit area she was basing it on several stinky french cheeses!!!!
Facial Hair Part 1
Oh yeah when you are in the missing link mode you may notice that a slug has left a trail across your top lip!! do not try out any new fangled methods to get rid of this 'trail' blast it off with wax but not the candle kind!!
Facial Hair Part 2
So as the slug left the trail on your upper lip your eyebrows may have gotten lonely and either decided to meet up in the middle of your forehead to have a chat or due to cold weather decided to resemble a thorny bush do not use a razor or scissors to did this job, if you know of any landscape gardener in need of business contact them failing that go get them waxed!! The correct wax of course!!
Crimsom Tide
Ah yes the wonderful sign from Mother Nature that you are a woman, yep instead of diamonds been sent once a month, you feel your insides are been put through a blender - ah bliss this womanhood malarky but the must important thing to learn about this time is do not wear white!!
trust me it always, always goes wrong!
I will stop there for the moment as if I tell her anymore she may just pack herself off to Easter Island to avoid adolescence, so naturally I am so looking forward to these years like I look forward to plucking my eyebrows but my plan to keep them blurry should work, a glass of wine anyone??
Thursday, 9 June 2011
OMG...................................
In some parts of the world the silly season has begun.
This has nothing to do with hunting wild animals, getting unusual tattoos done or trying to marry George Clooney (okay that might be the season I am trying to start!)
No there are parents out there in the universe getting themselves in a tizz for their child's First Holy Communion - first time little Jimmy or Bridget gets to really participate at Mass by receiving the small disc shaped bread and not the other participation of whining "when can we go home?" "will the priest ever stop talking?" and that just from my husband!!! And then for the collection box certain people would only "pretend" to drop it in the box and then happily show me their ill gotten gains in their sweaty hands at the end of Mass (no this time it was not my husband!)
When I was a little girl yes that far back the girls wore simple white dresses with a small veil yeah bordering on the wedding look and the boys were in their best Sunday suits, family and neighbours would give you some money or a small gift - rosary beads, bible, future birth plan - I'm joking!!
Then if you were lucky you went out for lunch -for me it was sausages and chips with a coke (the drink and not the recreational drug), few photos where there is always someone sulking and off home to look forward to telling everyone the next day how much money you got and comparing gifts - yes we were all shallow children but it wasn't our fault MTV hadn't been invented yet!!
I heard from friends in Ireland that in the last few years it has gone a bit crazy, girls in mini wedding dresses with a veil to match, the boys still wore their Sunday best suits but then had way out haircuts and as for the money well apparently some children could pratically put a downpayment on a house with their communion money, then there were the parties, eight course meals at the most posh hotel followed by a party at home with a bouncy castle, pony rides etc
Actually MTV could have done a show on these events, way more crazy than those Sweet Sixteen shows. To say that it had gone out of control is a bit like saying Lady Gaga is slightly flamboyant!!
Well compared to these people then I am an absolute cheap cow! All I arrange for my lot is a small party in the garden with simple food and drink (simple meaning that there is little or no preparation!) and a few friends and they can bounce the absolute heck out of themselves on the trrampoline!
Ah well no complaints so far!!
My third child is doing his First Communion this week, he is all excited and even more so since cards with money have arrived from Ireland - wow this First Communion gig is finally getting more interesting for him.
This is the child that when he started catechism classes was asked to draw a picture of Jesus and what did he do?
He drew Jesus in his underwear and just to make it extra-special he made sure to give him hairy arms and legs - yep really enjoyed the conversation with his teacher that day!!
So to say that I was a little bit worried about him doing his First Confession with the priest is an understatement, first of all I thought I was going to have an extremely long wait after he lists all of his "sins" (those of you who have met him know what I mean) but thankfully his teacher advised the children to only tell one thing but then there was the dilemma of "which one to tell?"
And also should I have an ambulance on stand-by for the priest?
Thankfully it went beautifully and the priest survived - phew!! As the year went on I thought my little fella seemed to enjoy these classes and actually getting an understanding of all this preparation for his First Holy Communion but then a few weeks ago the children were asked
"what does the priest do with the bread and wine at Mass?"
His answer
"he changes them into cake and coke!"
Opps ah well we are still keeping the money he got and I know he'll enjoy the day!
This has nothing to do with hunting wild animals, getting unusual tattoos done or trying to marry George Clooney (okay that might be the season I am trying to start!)
No there are parents out there in the universe getting themselves in a tizz for their child's First Holy Communion - first time little Jimmy or Bridget gets to really participate at Mass by receiving the small disc shaped bread and not the other participation of whining "when can we go home?" "will the priest ever stop talking?" and that just from my husband!!! And then for the collection box certain people would only "pretend" to drop it in the box and then happily show me their ill gotten gains in their sweaty hands at the end of Mass (no this time it was not my husband!)
When I was a little girl yes that far back the girls wore simple white dresses with a small veil yeah bordering on the wedding look and the boys were in their best Sunday suits, family and neighbours would give you some money or a small gift - rosary beads, bible, future birth plan - I'm joking!!
Then if you were lucky you went out for lunch -for me it was sausages and chips with a coke (the drink and not the recreational drug), few photos where there is always someone sulking and off home to look forward to telling everyone the next day how much money you got and comparing gifts - yes we were all shallow children but it wasn't our fault MTV hadn't been invented yet!!
I heard from friends in Ireland that in the last few years it has gone a bit crazy, girls in mini wedding dresses with a veil to match, the boys still wore their Sunday best suits but then had way out haircuts and as for the money well apparently some children could pratically put a downpayment on a house with their communion money, then there were the parties, eight course meals at the most posh hotel followed by a party at home with a bouncy castle, pony rides etc
Actually MTV could have done a show on these events, way more crazy than those Sweet Sixteen shows. To say that it had gone out of control is a bit like saying Lady Gaga is slightly flamboyant!!
Well compared to these people then I am an absolute cheap cow! All I arrange for my lot is a small party in the garden with simple food and drink (simple meaning that there is little or no preparation!) and a few friends and they can bounce the absolute heck out of themselves on the trrampoline!
Ah well no complaints so far!!
My third child is doing his First Communion this week, he is all excited and even more so since cards with money have arrived from Ireland - wow this First Communion gig is finally getting more interesting for him.
This is the child that when he started catechism classes was asked to draw a picture of Jesus and what did he do?
He drew Jesus in his underwear and just to make it extra-special he made sure to give him hairy arms and legs - yep really enjoyed the conversation with his teacher that day!!
So to say that I was a little bit worried about him doing his First Confession with the priest is an understatement, first of all I thought I was going to have an extremely long wait after he lists all of his "sins" (those of you who have met him know what I mean) but thankfully his teacher advised the children to only tell one thing but then there was the dilemma of "which one to tell?"
And also should I have an ambulance on stand-by for the priest?
Thankfully it went beautifully and the priest survived - phew!! As the year went on I thought my little fella seemed to enjoy these classes and actually getting an understanding of all this preparation for his First Holy Communion but then a few weeks ago the children were asked
"what does the priest do with the bread and wine at Mass?"
His answer
"he changes them into cake and coke!"
Opps ah well we are still keeping the money he got and I know he'll enjoy the day!
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