Just a thought........: Up Up and Away.........

Just a thought........: Up Up and Away.........: Once upon a time when planning the family holiday flight was fun, next thing I'll be telling you that Santa is real but no it is true. I...

Up Up and Away.........

Once upon a time when planning the family holiday flight was fun, next thing I'll be telling you that Santa is real but no it is true. I "actually" looked forward to traveling by plane because (and this may make people giggle) it was enjoyable!
Nowadays it's like entering one of those Wii/XBOX/PS3 games right from the start of planning your trip - you think you are entering a nice Zelda type quest and end up doing bloody Call of Duty with a bit of Just Dance thrown in to keep you on your toes.
So you go on your airline/travel website and put down the dates you wish to leave and return on - simple right? No no no it turns out that literally EVERYONE in the whole world also wants to travel on those dates and you only have 15 minutes to reserve and pay for your tickets or else just forget it and stay home! Of course if you want to leave at 2.46am flight and return on the 11.56pm flight sure no worries as long as you are happy to do a 6 hour lay over in the opposite direction of your final destination!
Once you have finally reserved your flights you will be asked if you want to bring luggage - yes you may be going to Canada on a three week hiking trip (ok not me but other healthy types) but do you really need a change of clothes and sensible walking shoes sure wouldn't your football/yoga kit and sturdy flip flops be enough? Imagine people wanting to travel with their own clothes/shoes that's just crazy and for those of you who would like to travel with your kids - are ye mad there goes your luggage quota out the window!! They really like you to bring only "carry-on" luggage that you stow ever so carefully in the compartment over your seat however certain people's idea of what size this luggage should be varies - have seen some that are the size of 5 year old twins - actually it may have been 5 year old twins!
So far you have booked the flights, agreed that you would like to bring luggage and then they ask you would you like a seat???? Do they think you have any other choices?
"Oh I was going to sit in the toilet for the whole 5 hours" or "The pilot looks cute so might sit on his knee" or better still "I was going to super glue my deck chair on the wing". Of course you want a seat! Then they lull you in to a false sense of security by telling you that you can PICK your seat - go on click away wherever you want - wow wonderful they are so kind and so you go crazy and pick the best seats and type in the names etc and then BAM you see how much this "gift" is - price of a suitcase (there goes our swimsuits have to go to a nudist beach then!) And when you try and not avail of this wonderful gift thinking "ah sure I don't care where I sit as long it's not with my family" they go all Gandalf on you with a "YOU SHALL NOT PASS" because you didn't 'pick' your seats so you go for the cheapest ones - near the livestock !
And then there is the whole going-to-airport-ten-hours-in-advance trip which is another story!
See planning the family trip can be exhausting - think I'll go lie down now.
Happy Holiday Planning

Ah BTS..........................

As a child I absolutely hated with passion the following three words - Back to School!!
There I would be enjoying my summer holidays bothering nobody, okay only my mother, my sister and my brothers but that doesn't really count and suddenly out of nowhere would all these bloomin 'signs' pop up all over the place and make me realise that the bliss of summer holdiays would be over soon.

Now fast forward many many many years - I know it is hard to believe but I am only 25 (+tax) years of age,  but now these very same words gave me hope!!

Two months of tantrums, tears, slamming doors - and that was just from me!  Overall the holidays went well for us, to be honest the fact that at the end of the holidays I still have the same number of children from the start and they are all still in one piece just shows what a fantastic mother I am too. All parents know the drill, we take care of our children, we feed, we cloth, we make sure they do not kill each other however during the holiday time and we do all that plus we become the 'entertainment' manager too.

At the beginning of the holidays they are delighted to just have lie-ins, chill out, go to bed late - that includes me of course and then we get that question "what are we doing today?"  I blame myself of course how stupid of me to actually have let them see the beach, the mountains or even all their cousins when they were younger I should have just left them in the back garden and kept them ignorant of these things but I just didn't know better, I was a really naive young mother I actually read those articles on how to be a good parent, well when I say I read them I mean I sort of looked at the headlines.
My children are getting older so it is natural that they would like to be active however I have learned that hoovering, cleaning windows or sorting out the laundry are not things that they consider activities, I was totally suprised by this!

They did have their holiday, beaches had sandcastles built on them, swimsuits were used, fun times with cousins and family were had so they did well but like all good things there has to be an end and all those signs of 'Back to School' give me hope that soon I will be able to drink a cup of tea without anyone interupting me looking for something, food, clothes, ipad or limb - BLISS!

Of course there is a down side to these three words for me it is getting up early and naturally the school list - rulers, glue sticks, pencils.....................................................!!

Ho Ho Ho.....................................

Ireland - 31st October - Halloween, walk into a shopping centre and what do I see?

Scary Witches? Ghouls? Ghosts or even more scary the latest Twilight Poster - har har har!!

No much worse than that...................A Christmas Tree!!!

So whether we like it or not the silly season will be upon us quite soon.

This is the time of the year where normal responsible parents tell their children that a total stranger dressed in red who usually lives in the North Pole with little elves will be allowed enter their home by the chimney leaving his sleigh and reindeers on the roof and leave presents by the Christmas tree or better still enter their bedroom and leave it at the foot of their bed!

And that's only if they have behaved themselves!!

Night night honey!!!

Ah Christmas you just got to love it.

When my children were younger it was fairly easy getting into the whole Santa Claus routine, start from Sept 1st

"oh if you are naughty Santa will not bring you anything" or

"Santa Claus will hear about your bad behaviour" and basically keep them dangling until Dec 25th, ah bliss!

And as for the gifts well I kinda cheated a bit!!

Okay a lot, as all their birthdays are in the Spring occasionally they got a really good birthday present so this one got re-wrapped and given by Santa at Christmas - see I was a good at recycling, more green than mean!!!

And it worked like a dream for a while until one day their memories actually started been better than goldfishes.

And then it happens one Christmas morning I hear that awful sentence!!

"oh whoopee I now have two!! I got one for my birthday and now one for Christmas - cool!!"

 

 

Then there is the age old dilemma "when do you tell them THE TRUTH!"

There are all sorts of advice on this:

don't tell them they'll figure it out - too risky knowing my lot they could drag this out until they are 30 yrs old!

get their grandparents to tell them  - maybe not as you may need them to babysit one day and the kids may refuse to visit the "Santa Killers"

let their friends tell them!  - no don't give satisfaction to the little smug brat who goes round the school yard telling everyone in their little whiny voice "your parents buy the gifts................"

Or the best one!

they'll just 'know' - seriously have you met my children?

 

I decided since I started all of this then I have to be the one to tell the whole truth or as near it as possible- so to speak. I thought the best time to tell was not coming up to Christmas but during the summer so when my eldest son was 9 years old I decided to tell them the origins of Santa Claus with St Nicholas etc however for some reason (I promise no alcohol was involved - I think) we ended up talking about how babies were made and at the end of that summer holiday he knew the facts of life and still believed in Santa Claus (does that sound like a plan gone wrong?).

Then one evening after Christmas and just before his 10th birthday (I kid you not, see I was a really good liar, oops storyteller!), I was running about like a mad woman cooking dinner for 20 people, doing sixty baskets of laundry (slight exaggeration) and cleaning the house (for those who know me that is a BIG EXAGGERATION) and in all of this he decides to ask me questions about Santa Claus, where does he live exactly? what does he eat? does he really exist?and well I just blurted out 'Not Really"(did I mention that I had an almighty bad headache too) he burst into tears!!

My brain went quickly into overdrive (rarely happens but a sight to behold!!)

I dusted down my well prepared speech and told him how parents liked to keep up the tradition of St Nicholas etc etc wiped his tears, calmed him down bribed him not to tell his brother and sister and all was well with the world until he said

"what about the Easter rabbit and Tooth fairy?"

That's when I opened the wine bottle and the rest is a blur!!

 

So for my second child, my daugther, I decided this time I'll be cool, calm and collected. Waited until Christmas time was done and dusted and picked a time when there was just the two of us together.  Coming back in the car from a shopping trip I told her the story of Santa Claus.

At first there was total silence and I thought "oh crap she is going to cry her eyes out!".

 

Then she started to ask how we managed to hide everything on them.

Suddenly we became the Houdinis of Christmas, how did I hide her bike? her doll's house? (well that was easy I only remembered at 11.45pm on Christmas Eve that the bloody thing had to be put together!! did it quickly while drinking champagne and it still stands today!) however she got a more sober and shorter story.

She was fascinated by the way we hid the gifts etc and couldn't believe that we did that every year and that she never guessed (round applause please!)

Naturally she was then bribed/threatened not to tell her youngest brother.

 

Now telling the last child will be a tricky one, he still cries about the cat that "ran away" three years ago and also about the turtle that got flattened by a truck four years ago so I am honestly not rushing into this, don't want to be one who kills Christmas.

 

At present my plan is to whisper it to him as he comes down the aisle at his wedding, any other suggestions?

Best foot first forward...................................

Ah Spring is in the air so time to put away the winter clothes until the cold returns which will properly arrive in about two weeks. One of my worries is that people will realise that what they thought was winter padding was in fact me!

Then there are my feet, still two of them thank goodness but every year I feel that they have gotten larger over the winter, I am not kidding, they hibernate and come out looking like hobbit feet.

And then this Spring I was invited to a wedding so I had to wear something other than my birkenstockes. So off I went to get myself some nice shoes, well easier said than done.
My eleven year old daughter came with me and laughed her head off everytime I put on a pair of shoes with heels!
"No they are too high for you and bad for your back"
Okay I did tell her that but that was for HER not me!!!
Anyway I climbed into a pair of high heels and tottered round for a few minutes and I do mean totter!
I was never one to wear heels even when I was younger but needs must for a wedding, I must look like an adult for at least 10 minutes!!
I bought a pair and left the shop with a laughing daughter, my husband was even amazed with what I bought and said "you are actually going to wear these????", ah goody even after all this time I can still surprise him.

I was determined to master walking with these shoes for the wedding, I walked around the house in them - trot trot trot (that is noise I was making!), walked around the garden - trot trot trot avoid children playing as they think this is a great game, then actually walked the dog up and down on our street - trot trot trot the dog is giving me weird looks now and is embarrassed to be seen with me!!
No good I was getting vertigo been so high, I felt birds could build their nest on me.

What did I do? Admit defeat? No way!
Like the mature adult I am I hid that pair of shoes and bought another pair that had a heel but did not put me in the clouds - my daughter would know straight away but husband would not have a clue unless he found the first pair but that won't happen as they are well hidden - right in front of him!!!

After a few more trotting sessions and embarassing the dog I was fine, wedding went well, looked like an adult for 9.6 minutes (new record) needles to say the minute the dancing started the shoes were off before you could say "high heels" and flat shoes on and I was dancing my little butt off (okay it is not that little but thats another story).

And I am sure I will master walking in high heels before the next wedding...................now where did I hide those shoes?

102 Hours

Is this how long it took me to log on to Facebook? Nope

Is this how long it took me to clean my house? Nope need WAY more time for that!

Is this how long I was stuck in the bath when I was 9 months pregnant? Nope and that is another story!

That is how long I had all to myself in my own house. Great achievement really because the last time that happened was over 9 years ago when I was pregnant on my last child.

To say it was bliss would be an understatement. I do love my children and husband most of the time especially when they are at school/work or asleep but it was pure freedom to be at home and doing what I wanted rather than having people looking for food, drink or comfort on a regular basis. I could actually watch something on television without an age limit on it and could stay up late and not pay for it the next day by having a real lie-in!!!!

At one point it looked like that they wouldn't be leaving due to hubbie's work commitments but once it was finally decided after a very deep and meaningful heart to heart discussion "ye are bloody well going I want to catch up on Desperate Housewives" the suitcases were packed and loaded in the car before anyone changed their mind, to be honest I have never packed suitcases so fast in my entire life!

The dog and I happily waved them off on their 5 hour car journey - enjoy hubbie dear (he he he).
Two hours later as I sat lazily on the couch chilling out my youngest son rings me to check when he will see me again, yep the car journey must be going well!!

Besides catching up on televison I also sorted out paperwork, clothes, photos, my office  and falling down steps and twisting my foot - you see extremely busy!!!

As a mother you are in constant demand from someone whether they are little or big or have two or four legs, there is always someone or something demanding your attention so it is nice to have a break and do what you want when you wish.
I mean even God got Sunday off when he made earth so why can't I?

I joined the children on their trip and did the return the 5 hour car journey so very quickly my 102 hours of freedom were forgotten! So you know what that means? Yep hubbie will have to take them off for another trip so that I can remember those hours of bliss!!!

Opps begin again..........................

Ah just shoot me, I was doing so well and then BANG, back to the beginning, yep my friggin new year's resolution went out the window which is annoying because I actually got past January!!!

I have atempted different types of resolutions like:
stop writing to George Clooney, stop phoning George Clooney, stop collecting restraining orders from George Clooney .....amazingly the medication helped out on this one!!!!

So I moved on to other resolutions, one year I decided that every month I would send a letter to a friend, well I thought that the old fashioned way has its' charms and I certainly love getting letters, nice idea wasn't it, until September rolled round and I realised that I had sent absolutely NOTHING to anyone!! so like a homework assignment I wrote 9 letters and well when I say "letters" half of them were postcards, well the people who received were pleased.
(no George did not receive any I was cured that year!!)

And then of course are the old ones you drag up now and then, go on a diet, this is an easy one because at Christmas/New Year time all the women's magazines are just full of stories on women who lost LOADS of weight really fast, well it seems that way because first of all you see the 'before' photo on the cover and by the time you get to page 56 you see the 'after' photo you see how quickly it goes.
Certain women related that when they divorced their husbands that the weight just "fell off" - does that mean that they were carrying them?
Anyway the kids won't go for that idea.
"Children I need to divorce your father to loose weight!" no can't see that one working.

No this year I picked something simple and easy to follow, or so I thought.

My simple resolution this year was to be zen on school day mornings, yes Zen-Mum!
Seems simple right?

No more T-Rex Mum,screaming,crying, running around like a headless chicken or dinosaur, shouting "get up" "eat your breakfast" "get dressed" "brush your teeth, hair, body-hair etc" "get your bus ticket" "RUN"!! and that was just for the husband so you can imagine what it is like for the children.

I was doing so well and things were going smoothly and then this morning due to the snow I thought I would drive my eldest son to the bus stop because I was Zen Mum so I could do it all, it was literally a two minute drive, just as we arrived at the stop he announced that he had forgotten his bus ticket!!!!

Well in literally 2.5 seconds Zen Mum turned into T-Rex Mum yep I roared!!!!
And for the two minute drive to and from the house - do the math - yep 4 minutes, I roared !!!

Anyway all is well again T-Rex Mum has left the building (for now) and Zen Mum is due to land tomorrow morning to start the resolution malarky again and hopefully will not have to learn the lyrics of "Opps I did it again................."(but that is not a resolution!!)

Maybe I should go back to the George Clooney resolution..................